This Is the Best Way to Respond to Men Asking for Nudes

Imgur user Zach1439001 posted a series of glorious screenshots in which three separate men tumble gracefully headfirst into the thirst trap of "you send me yours and I'll send you mine." The three conversations start out innocently enough, with each man bartering for the unnamed user's nudes, but things take an unexpected turn when the men are asked to send photos of themselves with mustard and eggs first.

Everything about this exchange is so fucking tite. The fact that it's only 9:38 p.m. (according to the phone's timestamp) but coquettish typos are already littering their convo. You know the kind. When it's 2:30 a.m. and you've got 22 percent left on your phone but you've got to solidify whether or not you're going to take Ashley's Uber home with her and crash on her couch, or split the Uber and take it to Kevin's instead. You made ~soft~ plans earlier but neither of you confirmed and now you straight-up don't have time to play games since HASSAN IS ARRIVING NOW and you need a decision. You ditch any sense of grammatical dignity and text etiquette. "Pls" autocorrects to "PLS" and you don't care enough to backspace and edit to seem Chill™. You really need to turn off shortcuts one of these days, you think to yourself. But tonight is not the time. You fire off three, four texts in a row. Sure, it's sloppy, but you're living your truth and asking for what you want. 

Their banter is so real. So human. We are all Egg Leg. 

As for the other guys? 

"I don't have any [mustard]. I'll do anything" the first man says. "I'll rube [sic] shit on my face."

"Do it." 

And he does.