26 Girls Get Real About Why They Ended Their Last Relationship

"I realized I was done being treated like a second-rate person and broke things off."

21 March, 2018
26 Girls Get Real About Why They Ended Their Last Relationship

​Breakups are never easy, even when you're the one ending things. No matter how long you've been together or how many amazing memories you've shared, surprising your soon-to-be-ex with those four dreaded words ("We need to talk...") just ​hurts​. Luckily, the Bandaid Rule applies to breakups: the sooner you rip it off, the sooner the pain will be over.

Below, 26 girls explain why they chose to end their most recent relationships — and why they're happier now.

​1. "I choose to end things because I felt pressured into a relationship. We started out as friends, so when he asked me to homecoming, I agreed, thinking that it would be fun to go with a friend. About a week before homecoming, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I panicked. I couldn't say no — we were friends and already had all kinds of plans for homecoming and my best friend was going with his, so I said yes. I was uncomfortable in the relationship from the beginning. I felt terrible, but after awhile I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't have any other feelings for him other than friendly ones. I ended up breaking up with him over text. I felt awful, but now I realize I shouldn't have. I'm allowed to get out of a relationship I don't want to be in and I don't have to feel bad about it." — Ariana, 16​

​2. "I broke off my relationship with my first love. I fell hard and fast but he was not the right guy for me. He was really into fitness and clean eating and used to comment on my eating habits or how I should hit the gym more because 'bikini season is coming.' He chipped away at my confidence.When I went on a cruise, I met another guy who I developed a crush on. He showed me the type of person I'd rather be with. When I got back, I started falling out of love with my boyfriend. That's when I broke it off. It was an emotional experience I'll never forget, but it helped me become the person I am today — independent, mature, and not afraid to ask for what I want." — Tia, 18​

​3. "I ended my last relationship because he wasn't supportive of me wanting to go off to college to make my life better. He wasn't going to school and wanted to hold me back with him, so I dumped him. I realized I needed to be in a relationship with someone who supported me. Never give up on your dream for some boy. It's not worth it!" — Lauren​, 22

​4. "My last serious relationship wasn't really ever 'official,' because neither of us cared about that, but it ended when I realized I was putting more effort into it than he was. I would constantly go out of my way to try and make things work, but he would brush me off. He would make me feel stupid for the things I enjoyed and would treat me like I was 'crazy.' The straw that broke the camel's back was when he refused to come help me when I was in a really vulnerable place. After that, I realized I was done being treated like a second-rate person and broke things off. Every few months, he tries to get back in contact with me and says he wants us to be friends again and work things out. He wants to be friends with the version of me that put up with it, and I'm not that girl anymore.​" — Cierra, 20

5. "My girlfriend and I had been dating for almost a year, and it was a really rocky relationship. When I left my town for the summer, I realized how much happier I was without her around. I Skyped her and told her that I needed a break. She convinced me to give our relationship one more try, and I agreed. Three weeks later she dumped me over Facebook chat." — Becca, 17​

​6. "I ended my last relationship because the boy I was dating demanded I stopped talking to some of my closest friends. He assumed that since I'm bisexual, I would be more likely to cheat on him with one of them. He made me incredibly anxious to be who I am." — Kayla, 17​

​7. "I had been dating this guy for about a year. We had plans one weekend, but he canceled because he was visiting his grandparents. But then Monday came around and my new friend, who had just moved to my town, told me she went on a date with a great guy over the weekend and showed me a picture of her and my boyfriend! ​I was so angry and heartbroken, but I couldn't be mad at her. She didn't know who he was. After class, I saw my boyfriend and ended it right then and there." — Adriana, 17

​8. "He was a ​horrible​ kisser, and it quickly made me realize I wasn't very physically attracted to him. Even though I knew the kissing would get better, it wasn't worth the wait. We met up at a coffee shop and I broke up with him there. I gave him the classic line, 'I realized I want a friendship with you more than a relationship.' Surprisingly, he took it very well and stayed to hang out with me afterwards for another hour." — Marissa, 19​

​9. "After months of being led on and him disappearing for weeks at a time, I asked my boyfriend for a break over text (the only way we were communicating at the time), and then I never spoke to him again. It was one of the hardest things emotionally that I've ever done because telling him I wanted to take a break was me admitting that there was no hope left at that moment. ​I'm so proud of myself for actually going through with it. There are very few moments that I can say I took control of my life and stood up for myself, but that's exactly what this breakup was for me. It was me saying that I'm worth more and deserve more than what he was giving me." — Bailey, 20

​10. "I ended things with my boyfriend because we no longer had anything in common and I had absolutely nothing interesting to talk about with him. I broke up with him over text. I know, it's a terrible thing to do but doing it in-person seemed too serious because we had only been dating for a month or so. After I broke up with him, I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders and I felt incredibly happy. I felt bad hurting his feelings, but I had to do what was right for me." — Izzy, 17

11. "After two-and-a-half years with my ex, I knew I wasn't in love with him anymore, but I hung in there for a few more months for some reason. We broke up the week before I moved into my college dorm. We agreed that going to two different colleges would cause problems for our relationship. Looking back, I understand that I used the college distance as an excuse to break up with him. I'm proud of myself for not settling at age 18 after only dating one guy. I knew I wanted to experience so much more than just him." — Amanda, 19​

12. "I was dating this guy for roughly six months, and things had been going well for a while. Then I started noticing different notifications popping up on his phone from other girls, all of whom he claimed were 'just friends' or 'won't stop messaging me.' This became a constant pattern for the next month, until I finally had enough.I was tired of feeling like the second choice, so I sat him down to talk and told him everything I had been suspecting. He sat silent for a minute; then he told me that he had also been seeing this other girl, but didn't think that I had caught on. I told him that was all I needed to hear, and walked out without looking back because I knew I was better than that relationship and there would be better things than him to come into my life soon." — Hope, 20​

​13. "After less than two months of dating, my boyfriend told me he loved me. When I didn't reciprocate, he told everyone that I was cheating on him. ​Everyone who knows me knows I wouldn't cheat, so no one talked to him after that. I was so glad the relationship was over." — Alexis, 19

​14. "I ended my last relationship because it was too one-sided. My ex was too childish and immature. I felt more like his mother than his girlfriend. It was really draining for me so I had to end it. He's a nice guy, he just wasn't for me.​" — Quinn, 17

​15. "I ended my last relationship because my ex was WAY too clingy. It was annoying. I broke up with him four days before my birthday, and on my birthday, he showed up at my house with a pair of Nike Roshes that cost over $80. I felt terrible, but what could I do besides thank him? It was over." — Samantha, 16

​16. "My ex and I had been dating for six months when I ended things. We broke up because he didn't support homosexuality (which is something I support very strongly) and I wasn't a Christian. I wasn't going to change myself to fit his needs. I never looked back." — Mone't, 19

​17. "I ended my last relationship because I realized he was never going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. He didn't respect me, nor my family and friends, and that just wasn't okay. He would constantly threaten to leave me or not go somewhere if he didn't get his way. ​He would also pick at my insecurities and never really listen to me when I talked to him. I realized it could turn physical when he started to scream at me over simple disagreements, and wouldn't stop doing certain things when I asked him to. I wanted to end things, and luckily, he did, too. It ended mutually." — Justine, ​16

18. "My last relationship ended after a year and a half because I could not stand to be controlled anymore. He would guilt me into choosing him over my friends. Our relationship thrived on jealousy and I lost myself for a while. My friends finally made me realize how screwed up it was so I decided to go out with all of them one Saturday night. He tried manipulating me and said we were done since I was going out with my friends. I said fine and went. I ended that toxicity and managed to find myself and be happy by myself." — Jade, 18

​19. ​​"I got into a relationship with my girlfriend too quickly, before we really got to know each other. I realized we didn't actually have that much in common and I didn't want to date her anymore, so I went over to her house and was like, 'Hey, I don't know if this is working.' She asked if we could still be friends and I said yes. Then we hung out for the most awkward hour ever. I made up an excuse to leave. We haven't spoken since." — Savannah, 18

​20. "My boyfriend told me he loved me. I couldn't say it back, but I stayed with him for another two weeks. He got to be sort of overbearing, wanting me to put him before my friends, and I wasn't ready for that sort of commitment. He got upset when his birthday was on the same day as my best friend's, and I chose to spend it with my friend instead of him. I dumped him a few days after that. After we broke up, he asked if he could still have the Valentine's Day present I'd told him about earlier. I said no.​" — Julia, 18

​21. ​"I ended my last relationship because I wasn't being treated as well as I should've been. Not only did he hardly give me any attention, but he also wanted to see other people while seeing me. He always told me I was 'everything [he] wanted and more,' but then would continue to look for another girl to replace me. If I was everything he wanted, why would he need anyone else? It's only me or nothing!" — Laura, 16

​22. "My boyfriend and I had been seeing each other for about a year and a half, and we lived about an hour apart from each other. He would go through these phases sometimes where he would completely stop calling me and texting me. I thought everything was going great, so I wasn't sure what I did or what was going on. Then when he'd finally get back to me, he would tell me he just needed to be alone for a bit, and he'd reassure me that it wasn't my fault. He never made the relationship 'official' or asked me to be his girlfriend, so I felt like there was something wrong with me or maybe he was seeing someone else. When we would hang out, I was so happy, but as soon as I left him I often felt confused and alone again. I didn't want to end it because I was waiting for a change. Once, after three days of not hearing from him, I decided to call him and break it off. I came to a realization that he didn't truly care about me like he said he did, and that he only wanted me when it was convenient for him." — K.B., 19​

23. "I was hooking up with a guy in my grade, but he wanted to be in a relationship and I didn't. I was nervous and didn't know how to end it, so I told him, 'I do want a serious relationship, I just don't want one with you.'" — Charlotte, 18​

24. ​"I ended my last relationship because he was going away to college. Even though I believed that distance could work for us if we put the effort in, he didn't, and a long-distance relationship won't work if one partner believes it can't.​" — Maddy, 18

25. ​"My last relationship ended because I outgrew my ex-boyfriend. I am a very busy girl. I am a full-time student, work, and am involved in organizations on my college campus. I would be out with my friends and he would just be sitting at a his apartment playing video games. I felt like I'm at the point in my life where I need someone who has an active life and is able to take me out instead of me taking him out.​" — Tayler, 20

26. ​"I ended my relationship because of politics. I am a liberal, and he's a conservative. I tried my best to be respectful of his views, but he eventually became this huge Trump supporter. I no longer respected his judgment." — Lesley, 22

Credit: Cosmopolitan
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