8 Things Men Want on Their Birthdays...

Vir Das gives us the low down…

#1. Push-ups: Men will try to match their age in push-ups, so if your man just turned 63...good luck. When we realise that we will not be able to accomplish said number of push-ups, we will swiftly ask you to retreat to the bedroom where we can accomplish some easier push-ups.

#2. Hairline Examination: The older we get, the more we'll obsess about our hairline receding. Expect at least 20 minutes in front of the mirror examining where it was, where it is, and where it's headed.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

#3. Overestimating Our Capacity to Drink Alcohol: The whole purpose of drinking on your big day is to make damn sure there isn't another one. We will endeavour to accomplish this goal.

#4. Acting: We will pretend to like all the crappy presents people have brought us—the ties and gift coupons, when the only gift we're really going to enjoy is the one we have earmarked and will buy ourselves when you're not watching.

Most Popular

#5. New Underwear: Or maybe that's just me. But I like to begin a birthday by giving my two best friends in the world a present.

#6. Holidays: We will usually want to take off to somewhere where we don't have to exchange pleasantries with a bunch of people who are only there for cake. Just you and us and some sort of Hawaiian shirt and fedora that makes us look stupid—but distracts from the fact that our shorts are waaay too short.

#7. Shaving: We might shave, unless of course we are hipsters in which case, I'm sorry—you're doomed to a lifetime of itchy kisses.

#8. A Loooooooooooonnnnnnnng Nap: If you truly want to give us a gift...please just let us have one.

But mostly, don't worry about what to expect from us today. Worry more about what we expect from you (wink, wink).

What do you think?

Celebrity
Share
So This is How Much You Have to Pay for Justin's Live Concert
And NO! We are not kidding.
Celebrity
Share
Richa Chadda Talks About Her Crazy Beauty Experiments...
...some of them are really out there!
GIF
Celebrity
Share
Passenger On Delta Flight Calls Cops On Mykki Blanco for Sitting Next to Him
The artist says 'it's the most bizarre form of homophobia I have ever encountered'
Celebrity
Share
Britney Spears Just Posted a Sexy AF Nude
Here's more than a piece of her.
Celebrity
Share
Saif Ali Khan Finally Goes On the Record About His Son's Name
And as usual, we have Koffee With Karan to thank
Celebrity
Share
10 Celeb Couples and Their Wedding Photos
Especially Mahendra Singh Dhoni and his better half
Celebrity
Share
You Won't Believe What Ranveer Singh Was Wearing
Bollywood's king of quirk just outdid himself at Shahid Kapoor's pre birthday bash.
Celebrity
Share
This is What Your Fave Celebs Wore to Shahid Kapoor's Birthday Bash
Ranveer Singh does it again!
GIF
Celebrity
Share
Karan Johar Introduced the Lead Pair of His Next Movie on Instagram...
His Instagram is the one-stop shop for all things new in Bollywood!
Celebrity
Share
Anushka Sharma's Voting Selfie Has Officially Gone Viral
For the best reason