This Man's Tinder Horror Story Is Going Viral but Not for the Reason You'd Expect

In the Ask Reddit thread on Tinder Horror Stories, lots of people share tales of Tinder dates gone wrong. Did your Tinder match leave early to have sex in an alley with his ex? Put that in Tinder Horror Stories and everyone can have a good laugh about how awful dating is. (Because it is awful. It's the fucking worst! But moving on.)

However, a man in his 50s recently made a decidedly abnormal entry on the Tinder Horror Stories thread, and it has the entire Internet sobbing all over their laptops. You HAVE to read this because I can't be the only one today who may never emotionally recover from a freaking thread about freaking Tinder.

It begins with the man saying how he's a bit of an unattractive loaf in his 50s but for some reason, an accomplished hottie in her 30s started chatting with him on the dating service. One thing led to another, and they met up:

To my dismay she actually accepted my invitation. I was waiting for her at the bar and when she walked in my jaw hit the floor. She was so beautiful I literally lost my breath for a moment. She was taller than me in her heels and was wearing a beautiful short dress with the most amazing legs I had ever seen. She greeted me with a bright smile and a gentle hug and we were escorted to our table. We had a very good date, the conversation flowed, and she seemed to have a good time as well. We decided to continue the date and went to a couple of bars for drinks. Finally she said it was time to go home and, since she had taken Uber earlier, I offered to give her a ride home and she quickly agreed. All this time I thought that, even though the date was fun, and comfortable, I assumed it would possibly lead to a friendship at best considering the obvious differences. Well when we got to her place we talked for a few minutes more. I offered to walk her to her door but she declined. She then got out and walked around to my door. She leaned through the window and planted a very brief but sensual kiss on my lips. My heart stopped!​ 

So it's already getting good, right?!

The two start dating seriously, but the man had the nagging feeling that the woman was keeping something from him. When she asked him to have a serious talk, he was worried:

But nothing prepared me for what came next. She asked me to just listen and not say anything, and I agreed. She then started out by saying that she had developed strong feelings for me but there was something that I needed to know about her that might make me want to change my mind about pursuing a relationship. My mind was spinning and so many scenarios raced through my head. Is she married? Is she a criminal? Then I remembered a few day earlier when we were making out and I touched her breast lightly and realized that she had breast implants because it was quite hard. ​

The rest of the story is equally riveting and emotionally stirring and you need to read it. Then, come back here so we can talk about how life is strange and beautiful and weird and awful, OK? Until then, I'm gonna go find a beach towel to wipe my leaking eyes.

Follow Laura on Twitter.​