15 Parents Confess What They Secretly Do When Their Kids Aren't Around

Most parents would agree that taking care of their kids is a full-time job. But when the kids go to sleep — or when they're taken off their parents' hands — all hell breaks loose, apparently. The people of Reddit have come together to share what they really do when these rare, precious moments come along, and their indulgences might not be what you expect.

(Answers have been edited for spelling and punctuation.)

1. Binge eat junk food.

"Eat Oreos. It's not that I never let my kids eat Oreos, it's just that I eat like a whole tube (they come in tubes here) in one sitting. I think my kids would be horrified that I scarf down a whole tube when they only get one each if they finish their dinners." —rolledmycaragain​

2. Drop all the f-bombs.

"I turn off my filter and swear like a sailor. Also, watch R-rated movies." —Proggoddess​

3. Drink wine. Then drink more wine.

"I call it 'Mommy Time.' I grab my bottle of wine, turn on my trashy shows that can't be played when they are awake, grab the three laundry baskets of clothes I never folded that day and just drink and fold. Yaaaas." —​tiffonibologna​

4. Do everything on the "not allowed" list.

"I do all the things I don't want them to do: Play video games, watch mindless movies, eat lollipops and ice cream, and get drunk. But they will never know this." —​DangerGirrl​

5. Get it on.

"Have normal, non-hushed sex. Walk around naked. Really boring stuff I used to do uninterrupted. " —Lexjude ​

6. Act like a kid.

"Parenting can get exhausting — you have to constantly think about what you are doing and how your kid is learning from your example. I am an adult and want to eat chocolate ice cream on the couch, spill some, then flip the couch cushion over and pretend nothing happened. But if I saw my kid doing that I would lose my mind." —kaikuhaiku ​

7. Masturbate.

"Masturbate, play video games, drink, sleep in. Basically, when my kids aren't around, I regress to my 15-year-old self." —Powerism​

8. Find time to think.

"Finish sentences." —​wirecan​

9. Get sh*t done.

"I run errands. It may sound silly, but it's easier to focus on driving, I can get things done faster, I can drive through McDonald's for a drink without having to buy a happy meal, I can listen to my own music in the car, I don't have random toys hitting me in the back of the head… You get the idea." —whowantsmytaco ​

10. Pour a bubble bath.

"Soak in the bath and catch up on my reading or any violent movies I've been holding off seeing when they're around." —​Stretchmarkmcgee​

11. Enjoy the quiet.

"I soak up the silence. Holy sh*t, man. I love my child, but the sound of her voice, repeating a single word over and over for 5 solid minutes until she finds a new word to repeat?​" —​birtardedest ​

12. Smell the fresh air.

"Open the windows and enjoy a house that doesn't smell like a gym sock. No amount of candles or air freshener can prepare you for the stench of teenage boys. That Febreze commercial is accurate AF — they have no clue how bad they smell." —karynzen​

13. Watch NSF kids TV.

"Watch TV that isn't Disney." —MacSteele13 ​

14. Finish chores.

"Clean. My daughter hates the sound of the vacuum cleaner and she always gets in my way." —​Happypiratehooker​

15. Stare blankly into the distance.

"I have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. When they're not around I like to blankly stare into the distance readying myself for their inevitable return." —​uniquetweets2 ​