Toxic relationships. We have all been through them , read about them and watched countless movies based on them ( Hello! Big and Carrie from Sex and the City). Being caught up in one can be addictive , destructive, incredibly painful and seemingly impossible to get out of. Whether it's because we are reliant on our partner emotionally ,or scared to get out because of low self esteem , it can often seem easier to stay in an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship then to find the strength to make a clean break.
However , the best way forward is indeed to get out of a dead end and destructive situation, and we are here to help list ten practical steps to move out of a toxic relationship and open up the path for a happy and healthy love life. As told by therapists and relationship counsellors, these are the best ways to move on from your situation and find a way to a happier you.
1.Realise you deserve healthy love: If we don't believe that we deserve a caring , thoughtful and attentive partner, then we often don't end up attracting one either. The first step in the process is to realise your own self worth and understand that you deserve and demand a healthy relationship.
2. Seek your thrills elsewhere : A good relationship should be a source of stability and joy , not drama and excitement. As much as we mistake the anxiety and anticipation of an uncertain situation for feelings of love, drama leads to emotional instability and erratic behaviour which can have a huge impact on the quality of your life.
3.Accept that the relationship was toxic: As tempting as it is to look back at a past situation with rose coloured glasses , we as human beings tend to only remember the good , forgetting all the problems that lead to the relationship finally ending. It's important to focus on what made the relationship not work out as well, in order to move on.
4.Always remember who you are as a person: Even before you got romantically involved , you were a certain kind of smart , confident and happy human being. When a toxic relationship chips away at our self esteem , it becomes difficult to remember your value and lose urself as a person. Surround yourself by friends and family who are constantly reminding you of your worth.
5.Take Practical steps to cope: With strong and erratic emotions involved , it's very easy to forget all the correct decisions you have made when caught up in a whirlwind of sorrow or self pity.To remember what made you leave and stop you from going back, log your feelings on a daily basis so you have solid evidence to go back to when tempted to make excuses.
6.Don't wait for closure: As tempting as it is to wait around for your partner to apologise and admit they were wrong, these feelings are in themselves a trap. Even if this conversation happens , you mostly end up feeling worse then when you started. Understand that you can't control anyone but yourself ,cut your losses and move on.
7.Embrace Forgiveness : Not the same as forgetting what went wrong, forgiveness seems like an impossible step but working on it is a powerful and strong way to get over the past. The more we hold on to feelings of resentment, the more a situation continues to hurt us. Realise that resentment is futile , and you chose to be in the situation and heal your feelings before you move on.
8.Fill the void: Get busy ,busy , busy! Fill up your time with positive activities an people , focus on your self and what makes you happy and don't give your self too much time to dwell on the past and mope.
9. Watch the alcohol: While getting involved in a drunken pity party with your friends , or going and partying till you blackout might seem like escapism , but its generally a bad idea. Socialise and go out in a positive manner , but watch your alcohol till you are more emotionally stable.
10.Remember it won't always be easy: Just as breaking the pattern of a bad relationship is difficult, surviving all alone once you are single can be hard to. Remember , you will learn to be happy again , surround your self with positive people and hold on to the small things that make you happy each day , taking each step at your own pace.
Hold on to these steps and hang in there! It does get easier we promise and before you know it you will be on the path to finding true love as a happier , more confident and fulfilled person.