11 Cunnilingus Things EVERY Guy Should Do

1. Ask what usually works for her, since she's the resident My Vulva expert. Guys who assume they know exactly what women want because they went down on other women before and obviously women all want the same things are not only morons, they're wasting everyone's time. Sure, some guys are pure magic at cunnilingus, but most women are so different that it's just easier and cooler to be like, "Do you like a lot of pressure?" and go from there.

2. Remind her she can relax so she's not staring at an internal alarm clock in her mind telling her she has 15 minutes to get off or else. This can be verbal for sure, but more than anything, just remaining present and relaxed and in the moment and seeming really into it will let her know, "Oh, he's enjoying this. I can actually relax into it instead of feeling like he hates it and I have to release him from this vulva prison."

3. Gently tap or rub her super-tense leg so she knows it's OK to release her vice grip on your face and chill. It can be so hard to actually let your legs relax at your sides because so many women feel freaked out about how they look and smell and being that relaxed in front of someone is a weird difficult thing.

4. If she's clearly not into it, ask what you can do differently. Not getting off or enjoying sex at all is already awful, but add to that the pressure of having to be like, "Um, this is the worst" in a polite way just makes for a terrible experience. The best guys will be like, "OK, so this isn't working. Haha! Want to point me in the right direction?" It's not awkward and it gives her the opportunity to be like, "Haha, yeah this would be better!" and then you both feel good and in this together. And it's honestly very cute.

5. Watch each other masturbate, if she's cool with that. Watching her masturbate is like taking a master class in going down on her, so sign up for this and bring your textbooks wrapped in brown paper bags so you can take notes.

6. Tell her she tastes really, really good. You know, since so many women are terrified that they don't, it's always cool when the guy's like, "Wow, you taste awesome." It just relaxes her that much further, reassures her you're into it, and lets her basically bask in the glory that is her receiving something great from someone rad (you). It really makes a difference.

7. Make noises because you're into it and also because the vibration feels amazing. You don't have to make crazy porn sounds, but even a "mmm" sound here and there is not only hot to hear, but also creates a vibration that feels next-level great and honestly, it'd be cool if 80 percent of oral sex was humming.

8. Actually listen to her when she says "don't stop" instead of shifting gears and trying to some fancy shit like you're a sexual bartender in a movie. Seriously, "don't stop" will always mean "don't stop" forever and all of time.

9. Treat oral sex like its own main course, not as something you kind of do before going to the "good stuff." For a lot of women, oral sex is the best of stuffs because they're way more likely to come from clitoral stimulation, and she's not going to get much more of it than via oral sex. So stop thinking that just because penetrative sex is the ultimate for you and your penis that obviously she only wants some light cunnilingus, followed by your penis. Go down on her the same way you'd have penetrative sex with her. For a long time, slowly, and passionately. I'm right about this.

10. Do something with your hands. Rub her thighs. Massage her butt. Play with her nipples. Anything but hanging off her vagina by your mouth with your dead arms hanging there. It's weird.

11. Offer to go down on her constantly. I don't like the idea that I've been "lucky" because the people I've dated wanted to go down on me all. the. time. and I will not rest until every woman on earth is as "lucky" as I am. Seriously, go down on your girlfriend. It's the best, she's the best, and as long as you're not a total jerk off the rest of the time, she'll love you for it. Win win win win win win win.

Follow Lane on Twitter and Instagram.