Nagging? Not a good look on anyone. Whether it's with your boyfriend or your best friend or your colleague, here's how to turn off the b*tch reflex...
1. Change Your Perspective
Before you sound off on what a slob he is, try to link that behaviour to a positive quality. "Tell yourself that putting his feet on the coffee table means that he feels at home and is relaxed and happy," says Paul Coleman, Psy.D., author of How To Say It: For Couples. Shifting how you think can help improve many relationships. Instead of getting annoyed about how many times your mom calls you, remind yourself that she does it because she loves you. Similarly, instead of ranting about how your best friend keeps borrowing clothes, it helps to ease the pain when you relate it to how much she likes your taste.
2. Remember: Sugar Lips
Snapping or whining will get you nowhere. "It's better to muster up some self-control and voice your request nicely," says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., author of How To Be A Babe. Don't think of it as pandering, but as progress towards getting what you want.
3. Praise Their Efforts
He finally made the bed all by himself or your colleague finished her part of the presentation before time? Give them serious props for even simple accomplishments. But don't expect perfection, especially if it's not work related. "If he got it 80 per cent right, bite your tongue," says Davidson. "You just have to overlook some things."