28 Things You Should Know Before You Date a Girl Who's Obsessed with Friends

1. Roughly 75-90% of our references will be Friends related. Get used to it.

2. When we have *that* moment when we totally connect, we might do this at you. It's a good thing.

3. We will emphasise the word 'be' a LOT. "Could I BE any more excited about this date?" It's rhetorical. Don't answer.

4. If we rub vegetables on our body, it means we're SO into you. We don't have a weird carrot fetish.

5. And if we ask, 'Can the doctor see me NOW?' we're not ill, we're feeling horny.

6. If we yell 'FAJITAS!' we're not angry at Mexican food, we just love fajitas. Very hot fajitas.

7. If we say, 'THIS IS BRAND. NEW. INFORMATION!' it isn't. We definitely already knew about it.

8. Don't ever share our food without asking. 

9. Feel free to tell us to shh, when we say 'Oh. My. God.' in a Janice voice. But just know that we won't shh.

10. If you ever wear a pink shirt, we'll probably call it salmon. A faded salmon colour.

11. If we ever hear the words 'Friends reunion', we will lose our shit. Just try and at least pretend to care.

12. Don't ever think you can pull the wool over our eyes, because the messers will become the messees.

13. When we say the word 'margarita', it will also be followed by a dramatic finger click. And we'll probably make a pitcher.

14. Unlike Friends, we don't sit around all day drinking coffee. We have a job and a life and stuff.

15. This is a swear word. If we use it, we are very angry and you have done something very wrong.

16. Never categorise us as a Monica, Phoebe or Rachel. Rachel = spoilt, Monica = OCD and neurotic, Phoebe = dippy and hippy. The correct answer is that we are a mixture of all their best elements.

17. Deep down, we probably want you to learn The Routine and perform it with us. Even if it's in our living room in private.

​​​18. Never tell us you have a PHD. We'll definitely get the wrong idea.

19. When we argue, we'll definitely say 'I'm fine'. Don't ask us why it's coming out all loud and squeaky because really, WE'RE FINE.

20. Meat sweats are real. Trust us.

21. If you tell us we smell good, we may tell you it's our natural scent. It's probably not, but… Friends LOLs.

22. When we're drunk, we go from this…

To this…

23. When we start yelling 'Why God? Whyyyy?' at our birthday, don't worry. We aren't having a mental breakdown, just channeling our inner Joey.

24. Ditto when we start speaking random words in a French accent and you wonder how to break it to us that we are not in fact speaking French. We know.

25. If you ever leave the toilet seat up/burp/etc, just shrug and say, 'I'm Joey. I'm disgusting,' and we'll probably forgive you.

26. If you're trying really hard to put up a shelf or get us gig tickets or book a table at a restaurant, we may sing 'Ross caaaaaan' at you to the tune of The Police's 'Roxanne'. We know you're not called Ross, we're just trying to show you some support.

27. If we ever call you our lobster it is the highest compliment possible. We are saying you're our partner for life, not that you remind us of a fishy-smelling crustacean with claws. 

28. Oh and most importantly, if you ask us why we are watching a repeat of Friends that we have already seen five times, GET OUT. Get out right now.

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