10 Things You Need to Stop Doing By the Time You Turn 30

Number 6 is the worst.

21 March, 2018
10 Things You Need to Stop Doing By the Time You Turn 30

As I approach 30, I have a pretty solid idea of who I want to be when I get there. And even if the Big Three-O is an arbitrary demarcation between youth and true adulthood, it's important to set goals for yourself. The particulars of those goals come down to the individual in question, but there are some things we should all have down pat by a certain age.

You know, like...

1. Not doing whatever the hell you say you're going to do. Say it with me: "I will try to avoid making promises I can't keep and apologize when I flake out." It's not a sexy mantra, but it's a good one. Honor your commitments. If you have a hard time doing that, figure out how you can improve and then actually take the steps necessary to do that. You can read all the self-help books and take all the yoga classes in the world, but being a good person isn't a "fake it 'til you make it" kind of thing. Follow through on things, the same way you paint every fingernail — not just a third of them.

2. Showing up late and thinking it's cute. Set multiple alarms, leave a little early, and respect other people's time. Sometimes that means going someplace without mascara with a run in your tights. Deal with it. Being late on occasion makes you human, but you should always notify people when you're running late. Don't make appointments if you can't do that much. Stay at home and whine about your life instead. At least you won't keep anyone waiting that way.

3. Pretending you're into stuff when you're not. It's one thing to be polite and listen to people when they tell you about their hobbies and interests. It's another thing to latch onto whatever someone's talking about and acting like you love something. Are you really that desperate for friendship or that insecure about your own identity? Be yourself. People will still want to hang out with you, date you, and generally include you in their lives, even if you've never been snowboarding or – gasp! – watched Game of Thrones.

4. Not communicating with your lovers. The person, or people, you're seeing should know what's up. Do you like them? Do you want to date exclusively? Do you want to get married? Are you still playing the field? Do you want to see other people? Talk. Be honest. You're not responsible for other people's feelings, but you can minimize other people's heartbreak by not lying, cheating, faking, or generally being a jerk. In the best case scenario, you and your lover will part ways because you are incompatible, not because you are too self-centered and immature to respect another human being.

5. Eating like a garbage truck. Junk food has its time and place. That time and place is not all the time, everywhere. If you need help getting on track with a healthy diet, see a nutritionist. Shop for healthy food, even if you're on a budget (one tip: beans and lentils are cheap and very healthy). And if you're suffering from a dearth of time, cook your meals in advance and freeze them or pay for a health-conscious meal delivery service if you can afford it. Potato chips and soda is NOT the breakfast of champions!

6. Tipping like a broke college student. Tipping poorly or not tipping at all is never OK. When you leave a crappy tip, you're not rebelling against The Man; you're rebelling against servers and kitchen staff. If you can't afford to eat out, eat at home and get a little more inventive with your pasta. You don't have to limit yourself to the instructions on the back of the blue macaroni box. Throw in some spinach. Add tuna. Go with Gruyère instead of that icky cheese sauce in the packet. Have a pasta party! And when you finally eat out again, tip 20 percent. Uh-huh, that's right. None of this 10 or 15 percent nonsense, unless the service was truly sub-par.

7. Claiming you're not a feminist because of guys. If you're afraid that guys will think you're a "femi-nazi" because you call yourself a feminist, you need to start dating different guys. Feminism says that women deserve the same rights as men. You're not a "man-hater" because you want equal pay or autonomy over your body. Men who can't understand that are not men; they are boys. And there are few things worse than a misogynist in a diaper. Make it clear that you demand equal treatment and respect, and that you refuse to settle for less in any relationship.

8. Depending financially on others. If you are an able-bodied, able-minded adult, you need to take care of yourself instead of relying on others. Sure, emergencies may happen and you may need to borrow some money from your parents or friends when they do, but your financial dependence on others shouldn't be routine. The women's liberation movement got us to the point where we're no longer our male relative's property. Let's all take advantage of that by having a savings account and credit card in our own name.

9. Not having a single "grown-up" outfit. You should have at least one outfit that will comfortably take you through professional spaces, whether you're interviewing for a job or applying for a loan. You don't need to be a clotheshorse, but you do need to have something that won't detract from how awesome and capable you are. And if money is the issue, thrift shops often offer plenty of low-cost options. Many churches, women's shelters, and other charities offer free clothes, too. Some of them will even connect you with a tailor or dry cleaner. Who can say no to that kind of hookup?

10. Plucking your eyebrows waaaay too thin. I'm all for body positivity and accepting diverse standards of beauty, but over-plucking isn't good for you. At some point, your hair will stop growing back as fast and you will end up with permanent bald spots. Your genetics and lifestyle will determine when that point finally comes. You also make your pores more vulnerable to bacterial infections when you over-pluck. By age 30, you're hopefully starting to be more confident about your body than you were in your teens and 20s. Part of that includes rocking your natural brow shape (with a little extra grooming if you wish) and not giving in to obsessive habits. This is a pretty simple, hands-off approach to health and beauty.

Got it?

Credit: Cosmopolitan
Comment