I Watch Porn and I'm Not Ashamed to Say It

Go ahead and check my browser history. You're guaranteed to find a link to RedTube or PornHub or any one of their sister sites at least every few days. I'm a grown-ass adult, so I don't bother erasing my porn views anymore.​ I'm a married woman with a healthy and happy sex life that's got plenty of communication and openness, and yeah, I proudly watch a lot of porn.

My husband and I have both been very honest in the sex department ever since we first started doing it together five or so years ago. Sex is important to each of us as a medium for expressing our love, which makes being open about it that much easier. For this reason, talking about porn together has always been a pretty frequent occurrence. We are each totally cool with giving the other private alone time for a little viewing experience, which means it's never shocking or strange for him to introduce me to a new leading lady he thinks I'll like, or for me to suggest recreating something I recently saw in a scene. Watching porn in my private time just makes me more charged and excited to be with my husband. Not only that, but I also see watching porn as a fun and healthy way for us to freely explore our sexualities privately so we can have better sex together as a couple. Porn is in no way central to my marriage, but it is a well-loved tool in our bag of tricks.

But as a woman, talking about porn while I'm out in the real world is met with myriad different reactions. I'm not an animal; I don't throw porn out as a table topic when I'm at breakfast with my in-laws or paying for my apples at the co-op. But when the topic of conversation heads toward sex, I'm not shy about bringing up porn or mentioning my favorite porn stars. 

Men sometimes giggle awkwardly, as if they've reverted to their 14-year-old selves who got hard merely wishing a woman would mention such things in their presence. Other men get a gross hunger in their eyes as if me talking about my porn preferences is an open invitation to hear about or be a part of my sex life (it's not). And still others retain completely blank faces and remark that they don't know who Sasha Grey is and that they don't watch porn, and the ones who aren't lying just break my damn heart. Women either excitedly squeal when the topic comes up ("ohmygod, I love Sasha!"), or they blush a little and tell me I'm ridiculous.

Sure, I know there are flaws in the porn industry. I'm not here to argue against that. But porn, as a medium for sexual expression, is a pretty awesome concept. There is something for everyone out there. I often try to encourage any friends who find themselves in an area of sexual confusion or awakening to try casually surfing around the adult web. Try some stuff out, see what seems to click. It's the safest way to experiment if you ask me. I even find porn incredibly inspiring and body positive, because much of the porn you're gonna find for free on the Internet is made by real people who are authentically just going at it in front of a camera. 

You see all sorts of body types in unflattering angles and realize it's still pretty darn hot, which usually kicks me right out of any sort of insecurity-funk I might be in. I also just think that part of having a healthy sexual life, no matter what that means to you, is being able to be open and unashamed about the topic itself. Porn can even help you learn how to better express yourself about sex, since talking about porn and what you like (or dislike) seeing can be lightyears easier than talking about yourself in first person and trying to express what you like done to yourself. Especially if you're still figuring that out.

Porn can be so fun when you're willing to approach it with the right mindset. Plus, the more we just keep flapping our gums about it, the quicker we can dissolve the stigma around it so more of us can freely enjoy it if we want to.

I could go on, but you'll have to excuse me. I have some videos I'd like to watch.