The 13 Awkward Struggles of Being an Introvert

​1. The words, "team" and "building", in the same sentence make your blood. Run. Cold.

2. Small talk is not your thing. It usually goes; "How are you?" Good, you? Good thanks. Good... *awkward silence*

3. The trappings of winter time can be handy though. So many big coats and scarves to hide behind; and you're secretly pleased when you get a sore throat.., "I would talk to you but.." *points dramatically to throat*. 

4. You get the sweats when a leaving card is passed round work and you have to think of something witty, interesting, personal and snappy, yet charming, to say... "Good Luck" it is then.

5. Open plan offices are like torture chambers to you. So much sharing, LOL-ing and divulging makes you feel nauseous. You endure daily caffeine-withdrawal shakiness because you just can't handle the social anguish of the tea round. Please just STFU all of you.

6. Overly demonstrative, you are not! You still have nightmares about the time your friend's brother accidentally kissed you on the lips during a mistimed double-cheek-kiss misunderstanding. Whatever happened to handshaking?

7. People who pack on the PDA's, selfie obsessives, Facebook gushers. It's like they speak a different language. A language, where the mystery is long dead. If only they'd listened to Peter Andre.

8. In your world, "ice-breakers" should be re-labelled as "heart, body, spirit and soul breakers." And because it's work, there's not even a drop of alcohol to ease the pain. If only you were being melodramatic, sigh.

9. You get mad when people gate crash your "me-time". Is it not obvious that reading a book or listening to music is the equivalent of a "DNFD" sign, not a conversation starter? Jog on motor mouth.

10. People think you're shy, boring, a moody people hater or a pushover just because you don't feel the need to fill the room with your personality and life story. Your world is more of a small platform in the corner than a stage thank you very much. #misunderstood

11. You love spending time with friends in small groups but too many people is just plain stressful. At large gatherings you spend a lot of time staring at your Uber app, waiting for that sweet moment when you can click and ride. 

12. You're probably the only person in the airport who loves the automated check-in desks. It's an oasis in the agony of the airport arena. So many people everywhere and there's "people-patting" in security. I. Cant. Even. 

13. The relief when you shut your front door at the end of the day, is even greater than the relief you felt the day you discovered online banking and self service check-outs in Tesco.

Now back off everyone and stop asking if I'm ok. Ok?!