How You Can Orgasm From Penetration-Only Sex

Orgasms via penetration alone seem like a myth to a lot of women who need clit stimulation to get off. But in this week's Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with three anonymous women who have vaginal orgasms from penetration-only sex about how they do it. 

How old are you?Woman A: Forty-two. Woman B: Twenty-seven. Woman C: Twenty-two. 

How old were you the first time you had an orgasm?Woman A: I was 25 the first time I had an orgasm and it was from penetration only. Woman B: Eighteen.Woman C: Sixteen.

How old were you the first time you had an orgasm via penetration only?Woman A:  Twenty-five. Woman B: Eighteen.​Woman C: Eighteen.​

Had you previously believed it was possible to orgasm via penetration only? Woman A: No, and I didn't think it was possible for me to orgasm at all. I knew every woman's body was different and I just assumed I was one of those women who would never experience an orgasm at all. Woman B: Yes, girls in my college dorm room talked about it all the time, but I usually needed to incorporate a toy or alternative stimulation to have an orgasm. The first two years of having sex, I didn't orgasm and most of what we had tried was penetration only. Then eventually I began orgasming from using a penis ring or vibrator. I had always been turned off by the idea of oral, so it's hard for me to orgasm from that because I'm thinking so much about how gross it is. Woman C: I had believed it was possible because I had never heard from anyone that it wasn't, though I did think it was less common. 

Was your first orgasm via penetration intentional or did it just happen?Woman A: It wasn't intentional or planned, it just happened. Woman B: I started seeing a guy who was very shy about the incorporation of anything "freaky," which ruled out my typical need for anal stimulation, incorporation of toys, or post-sex clitoris stimulation. One night, he picked me up and we started having sex against the wall. I noticed the pressure of his body rubbing up and down provided some clitoral stimulation, so I pressed my body harder against him and experienced my first full blown orgasm via penetration. It wasn't intentional at all. That was when I discovered that no additional things were needed to reach climax and it was just about hitting the right spot the right way.Woman C: It just happened one day. 

Did you do any kind of work to have penetration-only orgasms or did it just come naturally to you? Woman A: I read a lot about my body, and about orgasms and things that can hinder them, as well as sexual psychology, and tantric sex. My libido and desire were high and natural, but orgasm was just something I never quite got to. I could feel the build up but never the climax. I'm not sure why. The difference for me finally came when I had the connection with this specific man. That was when it clicked for me that sex starts in the mind and I was finally able to let go when I felt safe, and not judged, and loved. Woman B: It was 100 percent natural and I didn't read up on it. At the time, I didn't even know it was a rare thing. All the girls in my dorm were acting like it was totally normal and they came that way every time. It wasn't until I got older and was in a human sexuality class that I realized that it was rare. Woman C: It just happened one day. It was probably around the 10th time I had ever had sex with my partner at the time. We were going at it like we usually did, but this time he lifted my legs up on his shoulders, which allowed him to go much deeper than he had before. The faster he got, the more it built up, and I came after five minutes. It really just came naturally to me. The man I lost my virginity to was also well-endowed, which probably helped, though it took a few times of having sex to achieve orgasm from penetration only. Since he was pretty well-endowed we didn't try positions that allowed him to go much deeper the first few times we had sex, but once we did, positions like doggie-style, having my legs resting on his shoulders, and me on top always did the trick. 

Do you prefer penetration to other kinds of sex (oral, manual, etc.)?Woman A: I prefer a combination of all other forms of sex. Sometimes a single act is enough, but other times, I want it all. Woman B: Yes. Again, I'm not a fan of oral. I'll have anal sex sometimes and I don't orgasm, but it's pleasurable.Woman C: I don't necessarily prefer penetration over other forms of sex. Cunnilingus is always a good time and takes less effort from me, so that's always fun too. 

How long does it normally take you to orgasm without clitoral stimulation?Woman A: In terms of having an orgasm without clitoral stimulation, I'm not really sure about the time frames. I just trust my body and go with it.Woman B: I can have an orgasm in as soon as 15 minutes if we're trying to be quick. If we're taking it slow and he's pausing intermittently to make himself last longer, it can take me up to an hour.Woman C: Without clitoral stimulation, it probably takes me about 20 minutes to have an orgasm. I need at least five minutes of pretty fast and deep penetration to build up and achieve orgasm after foreplay, and then 15 minutes of more regularly paced sex. 

Does penis size or shape matter?Woman A: When I was younger, bigger was better. Now that I know my body and the limits of my body, bigger is not always better, but there is a threshold where there it's just not going to work. It's a completely different sensation when the shaft is long and the head is wide, or when the girth is wide and the shaft is not as long. I definitely like it on the larger side with girth, but if it's too big, it can hurt you. Woman B: For the most part, size doesn't matter. Really small can definitely be difficult, but after a certain point, it doesn't matter whether or not it's average or huge. Shape can matter. For me, it needs to be a pretty even shaft or a bigger tip. One guy had a pretty thick base that thinned out as it got closer to the tip and I was never able to climax with him.Woman C: I think size helps. My first sexual partner was about 8.5 inches and I've had the most penetration-only orgasms from him. However, I have had penetration-only orgasms from average size penises since him. I think technique and position are most important. I prefer doggie-style because it allows him go really deep, but any position where he can get deeper while still maintaining a fast speed helps. 

Is it mainly jackhammering that does it for you? Or what technique works best in your experience?Woman A: I don't do jackhammering. I'm a rhythmic woman and I find the best sex is a combination of resistance and speed. I enjoy it when he responds to me and what my body tells him (or my voice tells him), whether it's faster, slower, grinding, or thrusts. Woman B: No. If I want to be sure I'll climax no matter what, I defer to standing sex. In order for my boyfriend to hold me up, he has to press his body against mine. The pressure and the friction of his shaft inside me combined with his groin pressing against my clitoris has never failed to give me an orgasm. I am fortunate enough to be dating a guy who is 6-foot-3 and is in great shape, so we can do this no problem. When I dated a guy who was 5-foot-10, this wasn't an option, so I would usually go to doggie-style sex, but it was important to make sure I got the right angle. Woman C: Generally, the faster the better. Positions that have helped include doggie-style, having him put my legs on his shoulders, and good old cowgirl position. Basically anything that allows him to go deeper and faster.

What's the best angle of entry for vaginal orgasms, in your experience?Woman A: The best angle of entry depends on the shape, length, and girth of his penis. If it's straight and long, any point of entry will do. If it's curved, the best point of entry is from the opposite side of the curve (if it goes right, he should come in from the left). Woman B: I usually put a pillow under my stomach to lift it enough so that his shaft would hit my clitoris in just the right way. Old-school missionary sex works too, but it has to be slow with a good amount of pressure and he has to go deep, otherwise my clitoris won't be hit with enough pressure to have an impact. Another one of my favorites is the "straddle his saddle" position where we're both sitting, and I mount him and wrap my legs around his back. Again, it's all about the pressure on the clitoris. In this position, my legs are spread wide, so my clitoris is exposed and begging for attention. Sliding up and down his shaft in just the right way, which takes some getting in the rhythm to find, is what makes or breaks it. I first discovered this while fooling around in the front seat of a car because it showed me just the right position to make sure I hit it right. I then took that inspiration to the bedroom, couch, chaise lounge, wherever, and mimicked that angle. I once told a girlfriend who was having trouble with it to try having sex in her recliner first. She did and it worked for her. Since then, she's taken off the training wheels and can replicate the angle anywhere. For me, it's about finding a way to reach your clitoris by using angles and pressure to hit the internal parts of the clitoris, which I've worked on over the last nine years. Woman C: I've felt the deepest penetration during doggie-style sex and it's easy for him and I to maintain a quick speed in that position. 

Does it make a difference for you if he wears a condom or not?Woman A: Yes, condoms matter and they're mandatory unless I am in a committed and medically-approved relationship. I tend to reach orgasm faster and fuller when it's skin to skin and it's someone I love.Woman B: It's much better if he's not wearing a condom, but if he is wearing a condom, the ribbed kind is best. Woman C: I like sex better without a condom because I can feel him more, which allows me to have a better orgasm. He likes it better as well, which just gives the whole experience more energy. 

Can you have clitoral orgasms as well? How do they compare to your penetration-only orgasms?Woman A: Yes, I can have clitoral orgasms as well. Penetration-only orgasms are a completely different experience because my body is wrapped around his when it happens. Woman B: I can and I incorporate them sometimes. My boyfriend loves giving oral, so I let him do it when he asks, and I usually orgasm that way, but I don't like it as much. A vaginal orgasm takes over my whole body and is momentarily paralyzing. Everything else is a more brief euphoria that I can still function normally immediately after. I like the momentary bliss that I can't snap out of for the moments following vaginal orgasm.Woman C: I can have both types of orgasms. They are pretty similar, but sometimes I've had more intense clitoral orgasms. The most intense orgasms come from a combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation, which generally happens in doggie-style or cowgirl positions. The more stimulation the better. 

Can you orgasm via penetration with yourself (sex toys, fingers, etc.) or just with partners? Woman A: I cannot achieve orgasm via penetration only by myself. I need the other person's body.Woman B: Just with partners. I have only tried masturbating once and it freaked me out and I didn't finish. My boyfriend and I have sex at least five times a week, but on good weeks, that can go up to 12 to 16, so I feel like I get enough there that I don't need to do it on my own. Woman C: I've never had a penetration-only orgasm while masturbating, but I normally just stick to clitoral masturbation so that's probably why. 

If you've discussed this with friends, what are their most common reactions to your vaginal orgasms?Woman A: I was the first one out of all my friends to become sexually active, but the last to achieve orgasm. I also have the highest libido and a more exciting sex life than my friends. While I believe some of my former friends held a lot of resentment toward me because of that, the ones I have now cheer me on. I had a bad marriage and a difficult divorce that wrecked my self-esteem. My sexual freedom was always something I held dear, and it took a long time to get back to a place where I even could share my life or body with another person. Woman B: I was the "weird one" when I first found out I was able to have them because everyone around me at the time was already having them like it was no big deal. Now I have some friends who never have before and others who, like me, prefer it and don't see it as a difficult thing. Only one of my friends actually tries really hard for it. She asks for tips from us, she reads books, she took some couple's classes, the whole nine yards until she finally achieved a vaginal orgasm. Now she loves it and prefers it (second only to oral). Woman C: They're all jealous. I have some friends that struggle to even have clitoral orgasms so they envy my having an easy time with orgasming in general.

What have your sex partners' reactions to your being able to do this been like?Woman A:  My partner's reaction to my orgasms is intense. I tend to have multiple orgasms and aftershocks as well, and he likes it a lot. He says he's never seen or experienced anything like it with other partners.Woman B: My boyfriend appreciates how often he can make me orgasm from vaginal sex alone. His previous partners either required both that and clitoral stimulation or preferred other sex acts. He says its a turn-on when a girl can climax from entry alone. I think it has to do with male ego.Woman C: I think it makes them more confident. For a man to know his penis alone can send you into bliss, that's their ultimate goal. 

What do you think are the most common misconceptions about women who can have penetration-only orgasms?Woman A: I think the most common misconception about women who can have penetration-only orgasms is that we don't have them. Woman B: So many experts and women claim that it's rare for women to have them, but in my circle of friends it's about fifty-fifty, which doesn't seem too rare. I think anyone can do it if they put in the effort to learn about their body and what works for them. My go-to positions may not work for someone else, but something will if you try. My one girlfriend who tried everything found that nothing worked until I gave her my "training wheels" tip. That was the one thing that worked for her, but it took understanding what her body needed to be stimulated in that way.Woman C: That they're very experienced in bed. I've only had four sexual partners and the penetration-only orgasms started with the first one. Some of us are just blessed, but we wish you all could be too.

What advice would you give to women who want to be able to have orgasms via penetration only?Woman A: Learn your body and allow your partner to explore it fully with or without sex. Experiencing pleasure is not the same as having an orgasm, but if you know where your pleasure centers are, orgasm is more likely, more pleasing, and more satisfying. If it's still is an issue after that, talk to your partner or ob-gyn for options. I was actually shocked at how many women don't even know what their vulvas and vaginas look like. Grab a mirror, take some time, draw a bath, and get familiar. We cannot know what we like if we don't know what our bodies feel like or depend on someone else to tell us what they think should work for us. Woman B: Learn to own your body, your sexuality, and your pleasure spots. For me, this came naturally. For friends of mine, this took getting into masturbation first to really get a handle on it, then she moved on to position experimentation until she nailed it. You just have to understand your body and own it, which will require having the confidence to take some control in bed.Woman C: Foreplay is so important. You really have be in the mood before sex. That being said, thinking too much about it is going to prevent you from getting there. Relax, let go, and try positions that allow your partner to go deep and fast. 

Follow Lane on Twitter and Instagram.