18 Things People Who Only Wear Black Understand

You define your online shopping order by colour before considering anything else

21 March, 2018

18 Things People Who Only Wear Black Understand

1. "Does this come in black?" is your most used phrase during any shopping trip. It doesn't matter if you're chatting to your mum/mate/shop assistant, you just need to know if it comes in black.

2. You relate to this meme on an emotional level:

3. When you're online shopping, you refine the search by colour before even thinking about other things. Even if it's the wrong size, it's fine because it's black, right?

4. Looking for specific items in your wardrobes takes approximately 5 times the amount of time it takes a normal person because EVERYTHING LOOKS THE SAME.

5.Your friends have basically stopped asking you what you're wearing, because the answer is always the same and 100 per cent predictable. "Dusty, what are you wearing on Saturday night?" "Black top and skinny jeans, probably."

6. People have stopped making jokes about how you could be going to a funeral all the time because they got bored of the punchline the 30th time they said it.

7. There's nothing quite as distressing as the shades of black you're wearing being slightly different and not looking right next to each other.

8. And other people don't quite understand how many shades of black there ACTUALLY are like you do. Grey-black, dark-black, fake-black, cheap-black etc.

9. You're smug in the knowledge that you can spill something on your clothes and nobody will even notice because it blends right in. Unless it's mayonnaise. DAMN YOU MC CHICKEN BURGER.

10. Nobody realises if you wear the same pair of jeans 4 times in a row because all your clothes are pretty much identical anyway. HA jokes on you, suckers.

11. Rocking the work-to-bar look is your forte, because black is so bloody versatile it works for every occasion.

12. Oh, except for any kind of event that might require you to wear something colourful fills you with total dread. Grandma's summer garden party? Your brother's graduation? Your WEDDING DAY? Can't do it, soz.

13. Having pets is a NIGHTMARE. See exhibit A:

[twitter ]https://twitter.com/myacmarchant/status/673209199216738304" >

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14. You've mastered the whole "pop of colour" thing, which usually involves a lippy or nail polish colour.

15. You can get ready q easily if you have to because everything matches, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're any quicker than anyone else. MATCHING BLACK WITH BLACK IS STILL HARD OK.