14 Things You Only Know If You're Addicted to False Nails

Imagine being able to fasten a necklace yourself… hahahaha

21 March, 2018

14 Things You Only Know If You're Addicted to False Nails

1. When a barman hands you change and you drop coins on the counter, time seems to drag for all of eternity as you desperately try and pick that coin back up again. Ditto credit cards/any item that's remotely flat. SO. HARD.

2. Putting on moisturiser, hand cream and Vaseline is now a mission – you will get twice the amount stuck under your nails (just saving it for later?)

3. Remember when you could fasten a jewellery clasps yourself? Hahahaha. Those days are gone. Finito.

4. Also doing small buttons up. Yeah, that shit's hard now. BRB Googling how much it costs to have a personal assistant.

5. You spend hours of your life searching #NOTD and getting all of the nail envy. And screenshotting the ones you love for your next visit to the salon. And also screenshotting all the nail horror stories to send to your equally-addicted-to-false-nails friends.

6. If one snaps, that's it – night ruined. Why God, WHY? It also really bloody hurts.

7. Nothing feels as good as a 'take off and re-do'. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. None of the things.

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8. You can spend days admiring your talons. Sometimes (usually during a really long meeting) you actually get so mesmerised looking at them that you reply "Acrylics are great" when your boss asks you a question about data analysis.

9. Bad Gal RiRi is the nail queen. Just FYI. Khloe K is a close second.

10. This is what typing looks like when you first get them done:

11. If ever you have your magic claws removed, using your iPhone suddenly feels impossible and your hands seem to shrink in size. Urghhhh.

12. You spend more time with your manicurist than you do your actual family. Who would you save first in a fire though? Actually, don't answer that...

13. Whenever you have your nails removed or shortened you feel 72.5% less attractive. And because your actual nails are as thin as a sheet of A4 underneath all that acrylic it can actually hurt a bit. Worth it though.

14. The sound they make while tapping a phone screen or drumming your fingers is well satisfying. There are even YouTube videos dedicated to it. For real.