Why We Need to Stop Using the Term "Resting Bitch Face"

When I first heard the term "resting bitch face," I laughed like everyone else did, because I immediately knew what it appeared to mean: "Oh, haha! A jokey term with the seriousness of a diagnosable medical condition."​ It's instantly recognizable — we all know that girl who looks tragically unhappy no matter what she's doing.

But this past summer, as the term reached serious overkill in my news feeds, I realized there were bigger issues at play when we casually toss around that phrase. So I wrote this on Twitter:

[twitter ]https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/629058630776692737" >

Twitter Loading...

It occurred to me that the faces these women were making were the faces that literally everyone makes when they're just trying to read a book or walk down the street, or when they're folding jeans at a Gap store. 

Though the phrase seems tired and ancient by now, a slew of stories over the past two months have brought it back into the public consciousness, and my anger with it. We know Resting Bitch Face is a universal language. We've learned it's played a role in evolution. We've even seen it become subversive work of art. But what we haven't seen is a slow-down of this term with problematic associations.

The term RBF is hardly ever used to describe men. Why does every reporter comment on Kristin Stewart's RBF, but not Kanye West's, another person who looks perpetually aggro? We might call him out for it, but we haven't diagnosed it like some sort contagious illness. Why do women never see men in class or on the train who aren't smiling, and ask them why they're not smiling? The most obvious answer is because sadly, on some level, society expects women to be smile factories full of happiness and sunshine all the time. We expect women to look like someone just gave them Ryan Gosling's phone number every minute of the day even when that makes absolutely no sense at all. We certainly don't expect the same thing from men. 

In fact, there was even a study done by research firm Noldus Information Technology​ where researcher Abbe Macbeth​ found that​ found that men and women displayed roughly the same amount of RBF, but it was seen as being more noteworthy in women. The study states, "RBF isn't necessarily something that occurs more in women, but we're more attuned to notice it in women because women have more pressure on them to be happy and smiley and to get along with others.​"​

When you see a man who's not smiling, you likely wouldn't jump to make assessments about his personality. You wouldn't be tempted to think, Jeez, cheer up, idiot. You'd just think, You are a person with a face.

Also, here are some totally reasonable reasons a woman might have RBF: She had a tough day at work; she is deep in thought; she has a headache; or she's just chilling. Would any of those make her a bitch or an objectively horrible person? All signs point to no, further underscoring the term's irrelevance. 

After I posted the tweet, I did have a lot of self-aware men who replied, "I have RBF all the time." And while it's great that they acknowledge it, it'd be even better if the media acknowledged that too. 

Obviously, everyone has some degree of RBF, unless you're a glowing yogi on a mountaintop radiating blissful yoga energy and smiling without realizing it. So while I know people will still want to use the catchy-sounding term, can we at the very least acknowledge that the phrase specifically seems to mean "a woman who has a face and is not currently in a detergent commercial?" And maybe then, we'll stop using it so much.

It's not everything, but it's a good start. 

Follow Lane on Twitter and Instagram.