6 Things He Thinks When He Climaxes From a Blow Job

"This is happening and there's no going back."

21 March, 2018
6 Things He Thinks When He Climaxes From a Blow Job

1. I'm about to come. I wouldn't be surprised if the part of the brain that tells guys they're about to ejaculate is the same part of the brain that also lets them know when there's a fire or that they slept through their alarm. In these moments, it's about acting and not thinking. It's your brain saying, "This is happening and there's no going back. You have to decide what your next move is ​right now​." Of course, I'd much rather have to deal with a penis on the verge of ejaculating than any other kind of emergency, but there's an immediacy there, a sense of flight or fight. The same sensation that makes men go, "Ohh ... uh ... I'm about to come?" It sounds like a question because he's still reeling from the sensation and the way it's crept up on them.

2. "WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO COME?" If you've ever had a guy scream this, it's less because he's that passionate about where his semen goes and more because of the above: He's only got a few seconds to decide and in this moment, it basically feels like ​Sophie's Choice​. Most guys would probably prefer it if you kept their penis in their mouth. You, however, might prefer it somewhere else. If you want to avoid this whole apocalyptic scenario of him panicking at the moment of truth, just mention where you'd like him to orgasm early on in the blow job. 

3. No, please don't just pull it out. The worst thing you can do is just drop a penis on the verge like it's a bottle rocket with a short fuse. Don't leave it to flop around like a leaky hose getting semen everywhere. You might not find it for ​weeks​. It's like when you drive to the beach and then you find sand in your car for months afterward. Except instead of sand, it's cum. You know how people get in your car and see the sand, and they're like, "Oh, did you go to the beach recently?" Picture those same people asking you, "Oh, did you give a blow job recently?" Picture that. Just make sure you have some kind of plan in place, even if it's just cupping your hand over it or something. It's kind of like how your family made an emergency evacuation plan for your house, even if it was just, "OK, we all meet on this street corner in case of emergency. Don't stop to grab anything." You need that, but for blow jobs. You have to go in knowing what your worst-case scenario is going to be.

4. One or two seconds of pure, unmitigated joy. ​This is really what is going through a man's head right at the point of orgasm. It's like his penis was on a 12-hour non-stop car trip and finally got out to stretch. It's complete sensory overload. In terms of thoughts, there's nothing going on, just a warmth spreading over his whole brain. It feels like every part of his mind is on, and yet completely and utterly useless, because the whole thing is overwhelmed by this feeling. It's like his brain thought all the endorphins forgot about its birthday, but then his brain comes home and all the endorphins scream. "SURPRISE!" In that moment, he feels overwhelmed by this surprise feeling of pure happiness.

5. Why are you still going? ​I'm pretty sure "too much of a good thing" was originally conceived in direct reference to post-orgasm blow jays. It feels so good that you can't handle it. It's like overdosing on a blow job. I have a suspicion that if you did this for too long, he'd just pass out. His brain would just shut down because it wouldn't know how to cope. Doing it for an extra second is kind of nice. Doing it for an extra 30 seconds is just mean.

6. I'm going to need a minute. ​He needs to recuperate. The smart thing would be to make sure you come first, because otherwise he's just going to lie there staring at the ceiling with a goofy smile on his face because he just got knocked out by a one-two punch of endorphins and oxytocin​. He's punch drunk (or in this case, "blow job drunk"). You need to treat him almost like he's in shock. Wrap him up in a blanket and let him rest.

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Credit: Cosmopolitan
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