23 Struggles You'll Remember if You Had Braces as a Teen

Getting your braces tightened was close enough to hell

21 March, 2018
23 Struggles You'll Remember if You Had Braces as a Teen

1. When the orthodontist told you you needed braces for AT LEAST TWO YEARS, you freaked out. 'Everyone will make fun of me and call me metal mouth!' you cried to your Mum, while she just shrugged and said "If you don't have them done, you'll look like a Vampire". 

2. But actually, pretty much half your friends got braces fitted from the age of 13. So you could all look like dorks and be ignored by boys together. Yay! 

3. Being seriously grossed out by that weird gum cast you had to do in the orthodontist. DO you want to see what your mouth looks like? Er...no mate. 

4. Your Mum silently praying you'd get them on the NHS. "Please, please can her teeth be effed up enough to warrant it"

5. Literally everyone you know being like "Open your mouth. I want to see" as if you're some sort of niche curiosity. And adults were actually THE WORST for this. They sometimes laughed too *sobs*. 

6. You instantly learned to smile with your mouth shut. To this day, you have a weird thin-lipped grimace in photos. 

7. You REALLY wanted swanky clear plastic ones. But they cost like a million pounds so you had to make do with the normal metal. 

8. But getting to choose new coloured elastic bands at each appointment was a sheer delight. You once got orange and black for Halloween #justsayin. 

9. Kissing was traumatic. Spin the bottle was like russian roulette with mouths - what if you tore open that fit guy with the gelled hair's tongue off and got laughed out of the school disco?!

10. Eating was also a struggle. You were paranoid about getting stuff stuck in there, and then there was the list of foods that were too hard/sugary to eat. 

11. And the day you got your braces tightened, you swore to your Mum it was probably more painful than childbirth. SATAN'S BEARD WHAT IS THIS AGONY IN MY MOUTH. 

12. You were terrified you'd swallow an elastic band and choke to death in the night, too. You promised to leave your Tamagotchi and Pogs to your younger brother in case it happened. 

13. And if a bracket popped off, you knew you were in the shit. See also: If you didn't wear your elastic bands in the right way. 

14. The inside of your cheek hated you - you kept catching it on those goddam brace wires.

15.  Feeling like the naughtiest human alive for chewing gum. "I'm such an effing BADASS" you cried, before getting gum stuck on the wire and feeling like a dick. 

16. Sleeping with your mouth open and waking up in a  puddle of drool. You were so damn attractive during this time. 

17. And the shame of wearing your nightime headbrace to a sleepover. The orthodontists made the head strap in faux denim to make it look cooler. It didn't work. 

18. An irrational fear of metal detectors, and airport security machines. You were ALWAYS worried you would set it off. 

19. When they lied about how long you needed them for and magically extended the time​. Don't you know I've got an awkward puberty stage to grow out of?! 

20. When you finally DO get them off, your teeth felt so slimy and HUGE. And you also felt like you had emerged from your dorky teen shell and blossomed into a total babe (you hadn't, but still). 

21. You also got a retainer, which grossed you out a bit, so you kind of left it in its box and lied to your Mum about wearing it at night. 

22. Every time you do something like eat a sugary snack, your Mum was all like "You didn't sit through two years of braces for that"​. And obviously she is right. 

23. BUT - all the drama listed above was SO worth it for the teeth you have today *flashes grin*

Credit: Cosmopolitan
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