The 14 Most Annoying Things About Dating As a Twentysomething

1. Decoding texts.​ ​We're at a unique point in history where it would be weird​ as hell to actually call the person you've just started dating. Instead, we text. And it can be ​super​ difficult to discern tone. When he says, "I'll see what you're up to later," does that mean you're definitely gonna hang and just haven't decided on the details? Or does it mean "I don't want to chill unless I have nothing better to do"?? ​Thank god for the screenshot, so your friends can help interpret WTF he means.

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2. Pretending to act "chill." The championing of "chill" — i.e. acting as blasé as possible — is some serious gobbledygook. While "chill" was all the rage in the late aughts, women continue to speak out against the oppressive concept. "Chill" exists to tell everyone, specifically women, that expressing your feelings and desires is unattractive. Like how you're supposed to wait to text your crush back. Imagine how much easier dating would be if it wasn't such a big deal to tell someone how you actually feel!

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3. Crafting the perfect online dating profile. ​Earnest or silly? Cryptic or direct? Do you reveal you think lizard people rule the world, or do you wait for your first date to let that one slip?

4. Figuring out when to first kiss and do the sex thing. Do you go for it on the first date like the empowered sex-positive feminist icon you are? Or do you hold out like the empowered sex-positive feminist icon​ you aspire to be?

5. Trying to meet people not on Tinder.​ ​Even if you're the most social of butterflies, meeting people isn't easy. Which is why dating apps are great, except they can also be a pain in the ass and lead to the most lackluster first dates ever. You don't want to date someone you work with because it will suck to have to see that person every day if and when you break up. ​Plus, striking up a conversation with a stranger at a bar is ​way harder​ than it looks in the movies. ​

6. The patriarchy. Sure, things are better now than they were in the '50s when it comes to dating, but let's face it, dating is hard because not only do you have to navigate all your confusing, mushy feelings, but also because you have to deal with patriarchal bullshit all day every day always forever. The issue with Millennial dudes? They're a ​lot​ better at hiding their sexism than other generations. While they might be the most woke of baes on social media, watch them get threatened by your career and reevaluate whether you ​really​ care that their favorite book is ​The Bell Jar​.

7. Feeling jealous of your garbage ex. ​Do you realize how ​lucky​ he was to have the pleasure of dating you? Baby boomers might use this point as an example of Millennial narcissism, but admitting how great you are is just a part of exhibiting true self-awareness. And really, it's completely unfair that you'll never experience the joy of dating you: your hilarious late-night texts, the quirky way you prefer Hulu to Netflix, your gentle kisses and slightly less gentle hand jobs. Injustice is all around.​

8. Not knowing how to interact with each other on social media. Will he think you're stalking him if you like too many of his tweets? If you comment on each other's things all the time, will people think it's obnoxious? Does anyone even make their relationship FB official these days? So many questions!

9. Realizing your new man has the worst social media presence. We can't all be blessed with being amazing at the internet. Still, a deeply unfunny Twitter account can be a serious turn-off.

10. Realizing your new man has no social media presence at all.​ ​If he's not online, run. He's definitely a serial killer.

11. Discovering that he's bad at sexting. Unforgivable. Get with it, homie. It's 2016. Sexting is the new sex.

12. Seeing the same person on multiple dating apps. ​He seemed so perfect on Bumble, but when you see him on OkCupid and realize you're only a 30 percent match, what do you do?​

13. Fear of being ghosted. ​Let's be real: Ghosting isn't as common as every thinkpiece on the internet makes it out to be. Occasionally you end up going out with a really shitty coward who would rather pretend you don't exist instead of just dumping you. Nevertheless, the fear of being ghosted is real as hell and has us all quaking in our boots.

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14. ​Defining your relationship is taboo. ​If the person you consistently go out with and bang three times a week insists you're "seeing each other" rather than "dating," you know what this feels like.

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