#1. "Won't you and your husband ever get lonely?"
Probably not. Hopefully, we ended up together because we enjoy each other's company and fill each other's lives with meaning, etc. If we find ourselves not wanting alone-time, we have friends, family, and, of course, television. A child isn't a cure for loneliness, methinks. I believe that's pronounced 'potato chips'.
#2. "Don't your parents want to be grandparents?"
Oh, I'm sure they do. But that's why I have a sibling. And why I encourage him to have LOTS of girlfriends.
#3. "But having a child is the most intimate thing you and your partner can do!"
Telling each other about the most traumatic things that've ever happened to you, investing fully in each other emotionally and physically, baring your souls and bodies to each other in an extraordinarily personal way...none of that counts for diddlysquat till you produce your own human.
#4. "Do you, like, hate children?"
I can't speak for everyone, but no. It's the same concept as a dolphin. I absolutely adore them, they're totally cute, and they seem like good people. But I don't really want one for myself.
#5. "Does it bother you that no one will be around to take care of you when you're old."
I have always tried to take care of myself. I'll try when I'm old, too. Besides, it's an awful thing to look at a child as an investment–I provide now, you provide later. If you're not having kids purely for the joy of having and raising children, seeing people you nurture grow into amazing beings and do great things, you're doing it wrong.
#6. "But that's like, the ultimate tick mark on the checklist to being a grown-up!"
Yeah, because having a career, taking care of other family and financial issues, buying homes and cars don't count! A drunk possum could manage those things on a particular boozy Wednesday!
#7. "I'm sure that'll change when you get a little older."
Nope. If those diaper commercials with giggling babies latching onto their mommas with adorable little hands didn't make my ovaries skip a beat all through my early twenties, things simply shan't change. They simply shan't.
#8. "Are you afraid to bring a child into this cruel world?"
30 percent yes, most def. The world is quite a melting pot for assholes, and I do believe I'd avoid it, given other options. But 70% it's because I don't want to be a parent. It's either because I don't think I'd be great at it, or because I don't know if that's the course I want my life to take. Either way, it's more me than you guys.