If you see jeans shopping as a mission of practicality rather than pleasure, here are a few of the scenarios you'll probably relate to…
1. Deciding to get something 'different'…
You're bored of your old style, and fancy a change. How about those baggy boyfriend jeans you've seen loads of people wearing? Or perhaps it's time for some high-waisted super-skinny jeans? Are you too old to wear flares? So many options.
2. …Then remembering why you always stick to the same things.
Those 'mum' jeans are slightly less flattering when you are actually a mum. And yes, massive flares need to be left in the 70s.
3. Feeling completely bewildered by the sizes.
You're aware that in most shops you're a particular size. But as soon as it comes to buying jeans, all those rules go out the window. In one shop you're a 10, in another a 16, your waist measurement seems to vary ildly and there doesn't even seem to be any consistency in what length you need. Are you actually just growing and shrinking rapidly as you trudge from shop to shop?!
4. Taking about 400 pairs into the changing room.
The combination of your desire to try on every style, in case you find\ that 'golden' one that makes you look like Claudia Schiffer, coupled with the need to take in about five sizes of each design, makes this inevitable.
5. Getting stuck with jeans halfway up your thighs.
There is truly NOTHING more disheartening than waddling around the changing room like a penguin, jeans wedged halfway up your thighs with no hope of pulling them up any further, while all the fat that has been displaced by the jeans spills out in an alarming manner around your upper thigh area. Especially when the changing room has 360-degree irrors.
6. Managing to pull up tight jeans and then wondering if you can cope with pair that curtail all movement.
HOORAY - you've fitted into the smallest size you dared take into the changing room. But oh, you can't lean forward without the already-straining zip bursting open, and actually you've started to lose the feeling in your upper thighs...
7. Checking out your own bum for way too long when you find a good pair
There's something about the sculpting power of a good pair of jeans that means you just have to stand there and appreciate for a few minutes.
8. Slightly resenting forking out all that money for such a boring item.
Even though if you work it out cost-per-wear, your jeans come in at a hundredth of the price of anything else in your wardrobe.