11 Urban Dictionary Definitions That Will Scar You For Life

​The English language is one of the worlds greatest inventions, providing us words like 'fart' and 'rackadoom'. Frankly, there's a word for everything. Then there are the words and phrases you stumble upon on Urban Dictionary, that completely redefine everything you thought to be true. Urban Dictionary though it caters to slang, is a teacher to us all. You see, UD teaches us that not all is as it seems and words you thought were innocent, aren't entirely so. 

Warning: This list of words will shock and later educate you so that you may pass on said wisdom.

Hungry Unicorn

No no, it's not a cute and rather peckish mythical creature. It is however a chilling sexual act involving two males, a strap-on tied to the head and the licking of testicles. So uhh, not a furry animal.

Flip-flocks

As if the idea of flip flops and socks wasn't scarring enough, there is actually a name for it. Behold the horror and incredible discomfort of 'flip-flocks'.

Crotch Spiders

Though a horrifying name in itself, this particular definition refers to the hairs creeping from your bikini region, much like Miranda Hobbs in the first SATC movie. You may want to refrain from talking about your 'crotch spider' problems in public however, someone may get the wrong idea.

Old Slippers

And no, UD isn't referring to the slippers you once wore to death taking out the trash and for general around the house wear, instead it refers to the genitals of a past significant other. I mean a little weird but okay…

Turkey Tap

In the real world this would refer to tapping a big bird, presumably on the nose, however UD informs us that it's actually a very painful tap to a mans testicular region. Ouch!

Magic Stick

You may have seen a clip on the net of Kim Kardashian explaining to her husband that he should refrain from discussing the 'magic stick', with their three-year-old daughter North. The reason? A magic stick according to Urban (Dick)tionary is 'an extremely satisfying stick that the ladies can't go without in bed' i.e. a penis. Smooth.

Sword Fighting

An innocent game played with pretend swords or an adult game in which two men fight one another with their erect penises? Thanks for ruining an innocent game, Urban Dictionary.

Monkey

Beloved animal from the ape family or female genitalia? Yes, according to UD, a monkey is not the tree-climbing, banana-eating animal we all know and love. It is in fact yet another name for a female vagina. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up.

Baking Cookies

Is not, I repeat NOT the act of baking in the kitchen with your loved ones. Instead UD's definition reads 'to have sex', be careful who you ask to bake with you as they may read it wrong!

Then there are those definitions that aren't quite what they seem…

Traffuck

Which frankly sounds like a quickie at the traffic lights but instead simply means being stuck in a traffic jam. 

And those that perhaps make a little more sense…

Lie-Fi

There's literally nothing worse than being informed by your mobile that you're on the local Wi-Fi when in actuality, you are not. How many times must you refresh Safari before the connection kicks in?! Well, now there's a word for it!