21 Mistakes All New Parents Make

If you listen to all the (often conflicting) advice you're given, you will be paralyzed. Repeat after me: Google is not your friend. It will take you down scary rabbit holes. And from well-meaning people in the grocery store to family and friends, you're going to be inundated with suggestions. Trust your instincts and when in doubt, consult an actual expert like your pediatrician.

New parents often go one way or the other — we freak out every time baby sneezes, or we listen to people who say something potentially serious is just fine. It's always better to err to the side of getting it checked out. I went to the doctor four times for the same cold that wouldn't go away, just to be safe. The nurses looked at me like I was crazy, but I'm a crazy mama with a healthy baby. When your heart rate rises and you fear the worst, remember that babies are hardy creatures. They have survived for thousands of years without modern medicine, and in far dirtier situations than your home.

That said, a fever in a newborn is a scary thing. My daughter gets hot when she sleeps, and when she was 5 weeks old, she woke up hot and fussy. I used a forehead thermometer on her and it read 101. We dashed to the hospital, where they used a rectal thermometer that said her temperature was completely normal. But because we had a higher reading, the doctors waited to see if it would go up again. If it had, they would have made her get x-rays, a spinal tap, blood drawn and a host of other tests. She was fine, but a fever is no joke. (Word to the wise: Make sure you use a rectal thermometer. As I found out, it's far more accurate on newborns.)

Be honest. Most parents do it at least once: "Putting the baby in the car seat does not mean you put the baby in the car. Eek!" says Sami Hamla Dubiel. "I realized it a block away. Thank goodness."

You think it's only little boys, but even girls can do this, whether you're changing a diaper or putting them in the bath. Also, don't be too quick on the diaper draw. "If we start changing our twin boys right after they poop, they may finish going while we're in the middle," says new mom Aly Yale. "That means extra diapers, a big mess — and a whole lot of gagging from Dad."

While sleepless nights and poop explosions take up a lot of your time, you need to make sure you and your partner talk about more than just the little one's milestones. Remember that one day the baby will be an adult, and you'll be left with each other to talk to again.

Sure, it's a good idea to have enough supplies. But the baby is going to outgrow those newborn diapers in about 5 minutes. Plus, there's nothing worse than a diaper that's too small to hold, well, everything.

I have friends who are milk fountains, sleep gurus, Pinterest queens and still manage to be total bosses at work. Me? I'm stumbling through the day in a caffeine haze, doing a mediocre job at most things, including parenting. Here's the truth: There is not enough of you to be the perfect mom (or dad). And there's certainly not enough of you to be the perfect mom and Employee of the Month. Something has got to give. Ask for help. Leaning in, having it all, or whatever — it's not realistic. Don't beat yourself up over it.

How big is your baby? When did she start walking? Is she sleeping through the night? Does he talk yet? If you stack your baby up against other infants, he may look like a champ. But he may not. Either way, every baby develops at different speeds and in various ways. Comparisons are just another way to drive yourself crazy.

Confession: I had trouble sharing my newborn. After 9 months of her being mine and mine alone, it was hard to hand her over. I knew in my head that she needed daddy/grandma/auntie time, but my hands still itched every time she was out of them. I also didn't want to miss a single minute of my dwindling maternity leave. That also meant I never slept, rarely got things done and probably hurt a few people's feelings. It took awhile, but I finally learned to share the love. I'll always be her mommy.

It happens. "My daughter once arrived at a doctor's appointment wearing nothing but a diaper and wrapped in my husband's fleece jacket because of a one-two punch of puke and diarrhea in the car on the way there," says Oklahoma-based mom Kelly Guinn. "‪And no change of clothes in the diaper bag, obviously. He cleaned her up in the men's room before the appointment and said it looked like a war zone. Men kept opening the door to come in, they'd see what he was dealing with, then they'd turn and walk out."

"I took my son to a library playgroup, and he managed to have a blowout while sitting in my lap," says Michigan-based mom Kristin Shields Meves. "It was all over me. I was in the library trying to be quiet but totally covered in poop. I went into the bathroom, took off ALL of my clothes, rinsed them in the sink, and put them BACK ON all wet. I walked all the way home in wet clothes, laughing at my new mom mistake."

While it's not a good idea to expose your baby to the germs of a large crowd, that doesn't mean you have to stay at home those first few months. A little sunlight helps boost their vitamin D — and a nice stroll helps alleviate feelings of being trapped. For the 10-15% of women struggling with postpartum depression, getting out and exercising has been proven to help alleviate symptoms.

Moms have enough reasons to feel guilty. What we don't need is another reason to feel like we're not doing enough. It's okay if you haven't spent every single minute of every day with your baby, watching his every breath and blink. Sometimes, you need a nap or brunch with a friend. Not a fan of colic or sleepless nights? It's okay to not be obsessed with every phase. But take lots and lots and lots of pictures!

Yes, sometimes a baby's cry just means she's tired or hungry. But others, it means something worse — and it takes time to learn the difference. "When my daughter was 11 months old, she woke up in the middle of the night crying really hard. Sleep was never her forte so even though her cry seemed more intense than usual, I just tried to calm her down and back to sleep without turning the lights on," shares Cibele Bourgeois, now a mom of two. "Three hours later, she woke up again screaming. When I turned the lights on and saw her little foot and leg, my heart sank. She had been bitten by a spider in the night. We spent the entire day at the emergency room. My heart was broken that I didn't turn the lights on the first time she cried!"

A tip? Swim diapers are not made for heavy-duty disasters. "If your child blows out a swim diaper in chlorinated water, just skip the wipes and stick him in the bath because said material will literally be cemented to his baby skin," shares Carly Hudson, a mom of four. "And there will likely be a floating cloud, so being discreet so nobody notices your kid pooped in the pool is IMPOSSIBLE."

Used to take you 20 minutes to get ready in the morning? Double it. No, triple it. "Thinking you can leave the house in the same amount of time as when you were kid-free is a big mistake," says mom of twins Aly Yale. "You will be sooo late!"

Just because they can't wiggle free yet doesn't mean it's a good idea to not snap the straps in place. "We took our son to the zoo when he was 4 months old. I was so excited," says Kansas-based mom Trilby McAdoo. "We took him out of the car seat and showed him some animals then put him back in (without buckling), then I thought it would be funny to push the stroller while running to make him smile. I hit a bump and the stroller flipped and so did he! He landed on the over-packed diaper bag and was totally fine. I, however, had a melt down. Now, he's always buckled in."

"When my son was maybe 11 months old, he was eating a grape (mistake