Experts have revealed what
you should never say during arguments with your other half — and no,
it's not a swear word. In fact, according to couples therapist Jeffrey
Bernstein, it's a very simple word that couples must avoid during
fights, and that word is "should."
Writing in Psychology Today,
Bernstein says: We tend to "should" all over our partners. Even if we
think we're only doing so in the privacy of our own minds, it can come
out in our tone or actions."Thinking should about someone you love, or
being on the receiving end of a 'should' creates negative energy and,
over time, can be toxic for any relationship, especially a loving one,"
Bernstein said. "So instead of telling partners 'You should know how I
feel,' opt instead for 'I would like you to hear me out on this
please,'" suggests Bernstein.
all sounds very reasonable really, although we can imagine during the
heat of a blazing row taking time to monitor your language is tricky.
But if we all start to shun the "should," it could lead to a more
peaceful life overall, apparently.