8 Things He Really Thinks About Your Nipples

You know, they say nipples are like the eyes of the breast. Well, someone has said that, probably.

Guys often overlook nipples, seeing them as one with the boob. But nipples are so much more. Nipples are communicative; they react to touch and temperature and dirty talk. They're windows into the soul of boobs (and yeah, I'm willing to go on record and say that I believe that boobs have souls; All Dogs Go to Heaven and so do all boobs). Here's what guys really think about nipples.

1. They're like the cherry on top of a boob sundae. Without a cherry, a sundae is just a bunch of ice cream. Thanks, nipples, for making boobs something better than weird flesh-orbs. You're a hero and a national treasure.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

2. They're tenacious attention-seekers. When it gets cold or things get steamy, nipples are all, "Check me out!" as they fight their way through layers of fabric because they want to be seen.

3. No person who is attracted to women doesn't like sucking on nipples. Babies are on to something here. Babies are usually pretty dumb and they'll put anything in their mouth, but, like, as far as boobs are concerned, I get it, babies. I totally get it.

Most Popular

4. They are the no. 1 reason we love spooning. Excellent nipple access. Well, also, so our crotch touches your butt, but also easy nip access.

5. Every nipple is so unique that it's our personal Christmas morning when you take your top off for the first time. So many nipples, so little time. Every nipple is different, like snowflakes that never melt. And just like snowflakes, we want to catch them on our tongues.

6. They even serve a dual purpose. They make milk. That's crazy. That's the only thing the human body can produce that people actually want to drink.

7. They're mysterious as fuck. Acceptable clothing options mean women can expose pretty much all of their breast except for the nipple. And until we free the nipple, it still adds a sense of mystery.

8. As "second base," they're the gatekeepers of sex. We have to impress them if we're going to get any further. Which is why, if you need nicknames for your breasts, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson are great names (or whoever was on that show, I don't watch that shit). My point is, bring your A-game when it comes to the nipples.

Follow Frank on Twitter.

From: Cosmopolitan

What do you think?

Relationships
Share
20 Vital Facts You Need to Know About Your Vagina
Can sex stretch it out? Is it supposed to smell? The answers might surprise you.
Relationships
Share
How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Go Down on Me?
"He hasn't offered and changes the subject whenever I bring it up."
Relationships
Share
10 Thoughts All Guys Have Right After They Orgasm
"I could go clean this up but I could also lie in bed."
Relationships
Share
12 Important Blow Job Questions Answered By 3 Men
Three brave men answer all the BJ questions you're secretly too afraid to ask.
Relationships
Share
5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know Before Getting Into a Relationship
It's high time for you to start doing #4.
Relationships
Share
5 Next-Level Oral Sex Positions Your Partner Needs to Try on You ASAP
Cancel all your plans tonight
Relationships
Share
5 Warning Signs That Your Boyfriend Might Be Gay!
Honey, it's time to start reconsidering things, if your boyfriend shows these signs.
Relationships
Share
What Makes Great Sex, According To 9 Guys
Surprisingly, it isn't all deep throating and 'the view'.
Relationships
Share
8 Thoughts Guys Have Right Before Getting a Blow Job
Once he knows a blow job is on the table, it's best not to ask him to solve any complex maths problems.
Relationships
Share
5 Sex Positions for Women Who Want to Celebrate Their Big Booties
Back it up!