How To Tell If He's A Player Parading As A Nice Guy

James Blunt, famous for his love songs, has become infamous for his reported supermodel-calibre hookups. (Hey, any guy who's called party-crazy Ibiza, Spain, home likely isn't looking to settle down!) Indeed, experts say that plenty of guys have gotten wise to the fact that lame lines and octopus arms don't work-at least not on sober chicks. So when a woman meets a man who uses some tact and class, her defenses melt, says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. While a quintessential player makes no excuses for his behaviour, these crafty guys actually work at winning a woman's trust. Let's face it, plenty of so-called nice guys aren't conventionally handsome. So they probably were charmingly vulnerable and then realised at some point that they could leverage that trait to become more attractive to women.

So how do you know if a nice-guy act is just, well, an act? One red flag is when a dude goes overboard with the big romantic gestures (a perfect candlelit dinner, flowers for no reason) but never talks in specifics about past relationships. He may be an expert at wooing but not have any experience following up.

Also, be wary of any dude who goes out of his way to convince you that he's not a scoundrel, overexplaining or denying his playerlike behaviour. Says Dr Sharda Batra, Holistic Consultant, New Delhi: "It's easy to spot a guy who is trying a bit too hard to be nice. Nice people don't need to try to be nice, they just are!" There are still others who will harp about the theory of free-love where relationships are open and no one is tied down to commitment.

But for all you know they're slimy and pretentious, covering up their intentions with a practised intellect. These guys seem like the perfect romantics, humble, down-to-earth, poetic, and more often than not, nature-lovers! Seeming absolutely harmless-thus, it's the easiest to give in to them. They'll talk about stuff that'll make you feel free, lighthearted, almost like you're high, and that's where lies a great degree of addiction. After which it is your personal choice to lead a life without basic rules and regulations (read discipline), or know when to back out. The only way to know a true saint from a pseudohippie, is honesty. Everyone has the right to choose their way of life, but a player will be faking all the I-don't-believe-in-commitment talks, whereas a real dude will tell you honestly right at the start.

With inputs from Jaya Sharma

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

What do you think?

Relationships
Share
12 Fights You're Not Having But Should
You might just come out of these battles more in love.
Relationships
Share
Ask These 20 Questions to Get Closer to Your Partner
It's never too late to learn something new about each other.
Relationships
Share
15 Signs You're In an Unhappy Marriage
Is your relationship on the fringe?
Relationships
Share
Stop Everything: This Is Officially the Most Embarrassing Sex Story of All Time
Where do we go from here?
Relationships
Share
4 Effective Ways to Set Personal Boundaries With People
As told by a psychologist.
Relationships
Share
7 Ways Sleeping With Women Changed How I Have Sex With Men
I have way more respect for humping.
Relationships
Share
23 Movie Kisses So Hot They'll Make You Sweat
Is it hot in here or is it just Leonardo DiCaprio?
Relationships
Share
10 Crazy-Simple Things All Guys Want During Sex
It's not rocket science, but...
Relationships
Share
9 Hilariously Unsexy Things You Never Knew About Porn
As revealed by a porn star.
Relationships
Share
5 Bad Habits That Are Slowly Ruining Your Relationship
Delete your account (no, the other one).