Not just love, but a whole lot of sucking up and some down and dirty action is what keeps actor Kevin Bacon alive!
In every crowd, there's one couple so sizzling, you need SPF 45 just to be near them, and they leave everyone else wondering, How do they do that? We love the theory voiced recently by a guy who's been in that kind of relationship for long enough to know: Kevin Bacon. The actor revealed his golden rule on the red carpet when he advised simply "Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty."
To see how well that works, you need only consider that, 21 years along, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick are still sharing bedroom eyes in public. We like that he put into a few words the wisdom that years of research has proven. So Cosmo asked experts why the Bacon Principle works so well - just in case you want to get in on the action.
"If you can fight in a way that's constructive, it actually brings the two of you together," says psychologist Les Parrott, Ph.D., author of Crazy Good Sex. A good fight, he says, happens when you're not trying to prove who's right. Simply being aware of how you argue is the first step toward cleaning up your sparring matches, but there's more to it.
When you're ticked that he tuned you out because the game was on, it can be tough to zip it. But don't chip away at him for minor crimes if you can suck it up, says couples therapist Rachel Sussman. Instead, save the small offences for a chat when you're calm, using phrases like "I feel like" to get the point across without pinning it all on him. If you're ready to blow in the heat of the moment, studies show it's best to take a time-out. Discuss the problem later so he doesn't think you're brushing him off.
Most of us know that it's essential to mix up the mattress moves regularly. But variety shouldn't be the only goal. To keep things really sexy, you need to push the envelope by, as Bacon says, playing dirty. "Dirty sex means going against the idea of 'proper' sex," says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Touch Me There! Basically, whatever feels taboo to you qualifies.
Try pretending someone is watching you get it on. Consider buying bedroom gear like blindfolds or a bullet vibrator. Or slowly touch yourself in front of him - and see how long he keeps his hands off. Just talk to him before whipping out adventurous new material. You could murmur "this really turns me on", says Parrott. Dirty sex, clean fights - it really is that simple.