1. He's moved in, but he keeps all his clothes in a suitcase by the door, "just in case...".
2. It's been a hot, torrid three months, but you still don't know his middle name, eye colour, or what he looks like in daylight.
3. The only thing he's ever left at your apartment is a mess.
4. You begin having elaborate relationship fantasies about other men: The cutie who makes your morning coffee, the IT guy you never noticed before, the cardboard cutout of Robin Williams at the movie theatre....
5. You were one of the first few people to know about his big promotion at work...by checking out his Twitter feed!
6. The two of you fight so much that you're beginning to consider emasculating wench a term of endearment.
7. You're a bitchy brunette in a romantic comedy, and your boyfriend just met Kate Hudson.
8. When you run into some of his friends and they ask your name, he replies, "It's not important!".
9. He won't RSVP to your sister's party tomorrow night because he "really can't plan that far in advance";.
10. On your birthday, he flew you solo to a spa in Hawaii. But an hour into the flight, you realised it was a one-way ticket.