Selfies Are NOT Ruining Your Relationship

Ever since selfies became a thing, miserable people (mostly middle-aged men) have been trying to ruin them for everyone. Too many selfies make you a psychopath. Too many selfies mean you're a narcissist. Take selfies at a baseball game and men will make fun of you until you're a meme. And the latest: post too many selfies on Instagram and your relationships will die a fiery death because bae can't handle it when you post hot pics of yourself online.

A recent study out of Florida State University surveyed 420 (?) Instagram users to see if partners get jealous when a hotter guy likes a thirst trap selfie, or comments that your fitness #goals are really paying off ?. And yeah, the web survey results showed a positive correlation between selfie-posting and jealousy in relationships — sometimes resulting in breakups. Which seems incredibly extreme but I guess there are a lot of sociopaths in our midst.

Before we freak out though, consider that's 420 respondents out of Instagram's estimated 300 million active users. Miniscule! Microscopic! But after the Florida State study was published, a handful of news sites panicked at the research. Each article ends in basically the same exact way:

1. "The easiest way to avoid this conflict, therefore, is to avoid seeking self-assurance from total randoms. Because no one's #RelationshipGoals include reassuring you that the amaro filter is indeed the most flattering for the particular angle of your jawline." —Details

2. "Do yourself a favor, put black tape over your front facing camera, and resist the urge to snap a selfie. You'll thank yourself later." —Fusion

3. "So, if your relationships are more important than chasing likes on the 'Gram, you might want to lay off the selfies." —Complex

Note here that when people talk about how selfies are ruining your relationships, and how duck-facing is dumb, and how you should untether yourself from the constant swirl of likes and approval, they're usually talking about how women who post selfies are bad. TBT to that study that said narcissistic tendencies (selfie posting) are really only damaging to a marriage if it's the wife who's the narcissistic, not the doting asshole husband.

Picking on women for being hot and self-confident is the laziest and easiest way to take power away from them. Probably because when a woman lacks self-confidence, a man might find it easier to approach her and put her in his greasy little man-pocket. A self-assured, selfie-posting woman is a woman who literally doesn't have room in the picture for a man, and men do not like that idea.

Yes, most of the sensational Social Media Is Ruining Your Relationships talk that's become so prevalent is actually just sexism. Sure, there are studies that seek to warn #young #hot #thirsty #millennials that all their social media habits might be harming other aspects of their lives, but plenty of research also proves otherwise.

This study from Chapman University tried to prove that social media use (obsession, really) would have a negative affect on relationships — but their hypothesis was disproved by their research. No significant effect to be found (LOL, sorry suckers). And when Pew Research Center did a big, sweeping study on how teens navigate romance online, they found that while it's true that perusing the profiles of crushes and partners can stir up conflict and jealousy, teens "tend to feel that [social media's] impact is relatively modest in the grand scheme of things." In fact a majority (59 percent) of the teens surveyed by Pew said social media, and all the selfies that come with it, makes them feel more connected in their relationships. Only 27 percent reported that it made them feel jealous or upset with their partners.

As someone who praises selfies (especially of the mirror variety) and has never gone on selfie hiatus in order to appease a potential bae, I fail to see how selfie posting could ever possibly cause to a breakup. Could I date a man who didn't "like" all my selfies? LOL, no, literally never! Could I date a man who posted a selfie every single morning? Of-fucking-course, and I'd smash the like on every single one. So if your partner doesn't like your selfies, maybe stop liking him/her? Kim Kardashian has an entire book of them, and is in arguably the best and happiest celeb marriage of our time.

Never stop going in on selfies. Do not stop posting them. Selfies aren't ruining your relationship. If your partner can't handle you at your most fire selfie, he certainly doesn't deserve you at your Netflix and chill.

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