- Decide to celebrate your new single status with a Parisian vacation, but due to financial limitations, wind up on a trip that's filled not with amorous foreign men but with kids screaming "Helllllo, madam!" in most miserable Mussoorie.
- Wallow in self-pity and listen to every song Adele has ever written.
- Get a cat...then two...then 30.
- Donate all the gifts he bought you to a charity shop only to sneakily buy them back the very next day.
- Immerse yourself in new hobbies—drinking, smoking, and staying out all night—until you not only forget all about him but also almost forget you have a job, leading you to show up for work in a cocktail dress.
- Indulge in retail therapy and buy a designer dress that's so expensive that you will live without electricity for a month.
- Leave him a message to make sure he knows that you're so over him. Then call a dozen more times in the following months to re-emphasise that you're so over him big-time and you just wanted him to know that for sure.
- Rebound with a guy who looks just like your ex…except he's five inches shorter and 50 per cent balder.
- Take a break from the tyranny of male standards of beauty by refusing to remove any of your body hair.
- Show him that you've truly moved on by sleeping with his best friend, his boss, and his favourite cousin.
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No more embarrassing questions
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Sweatpants > sweating nervously on the first date.
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"I ended up running to the restroom in the middle of dinner and projectile vomiting in the bathroom."
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Fifty Shades Freed drops soon. You can never be too prepared.
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Bathroom time is weird, and there's just no way around that.
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Not all things are slippery when wet.