These Are the Qualities Men *Actually* Look for in Women ​

A relationship expert gets real.

Most Popular

We all know that men are attracted to attractive women. But we might have been wrong about what exactly they're responding to. It's not all long legs, shiny hair, hourglass curves—according to a study out of Monmouth University, personality can make a big difference in whether someone finds you aesthetically pleasing.

Groups of men and women who were asked to judge strangers' yearbook photos were more likely to rate subjects as physically attractive, a potential friend, and a potential date when the images were paired with positive personality traits.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

In other words, personality plays a big role not only in interpersonal chemistry (how well you can hold a conversation in a bar or how well you respond to a date emotionally) but in actually altering how attractive someone thinks you are.

Here, study author Dr. Gary Lewandowski expounds on dating, attraction, and what this all means in the great Age of Tinder.

MC: What do you think your study should inform us about our dating profiles?

Dr. Lewandowski: Especially for women, I'd suggest that they emphasize traits that are not suggestive of physical features in any way. Since men tend to focus more on physical features, anything women can do to broaden men's impression formation to other areas would be smart. Also, whereas physical features tend to naturally diminish and become less attractive over time, personality does not, so it is in everyone's best interest to avoid having a potential partner's interest based primarily on appearance.

Most Popular

FYI: These were some of the most valued personality traits in potential marriage partners from a 1997 poll conducted in The Journal of Personality.

MC: Do you feel like the study is a good indication that we should give someone we're not 100 percent attracted to a second chance?

GL: When forming an initial impression of looks, it is 100 percent physical. But my study suggests that your assessment of physical attractiveness does change over time and that getting to know someone will move the needle, in good and bad ways.

"THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS ARE BETWEEN ROMANTIC PARTNERS WHO ARE FIRST AND FOREMOST BEST FRIENDS."

Personality and your ability to relate to the other person is much more important for long-term relationship quality and stability. Really what we should do is weigh personality much more strongly and appearance much less. The best relationships are between romantic partners who are first and foremost best friends. Determining that level of compatibility takes time.

Other food for thought...

"Research suggests that what you say you want (e.g., someone who is smart and funny) may not translate into who you end up with (e.g., someone who is not smart or particularly funny, but is hot)," says Dr. Lewandowski.

So...is this the science of settling or just staying realistic? *sigh*

Via

What do you think?

Relationships
Share
9 "Breast Sex" Secrets Guys Won't Tell You
It's the cilantro of sex acts.
Relationships
Share
5 First Date Fails That Turned Into Adorable Relationships
"I ended up running to the restroom in the middle of dinner and projectile vomiting in the bathroom."
Relationships
Share
9 Rim Job Secrets Guys Won't Tell You
He will have that, "eat the booty like groceries" line stuck in his head all day.
Relationships
Share
17 Times Tumblr Gave A+ Dating Advice
It always delivers.
Relationships
Share
9 First-Time Sex Secrets Guys Won't Tell You
He 100% tried to Google this beforehand.
Relationships
Share
5 Sex Positions That Will Help You Master The Art of Spanking
Fifty Shades Freed drops soon. You can never be too prepared.
Relationships
Share
11 Things I Learned From Moving in With a Guy for the First Time
Bathroom time is weird, and there's just no way around that.
Relationships
Share
12 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Ever Tried Shower Sex
Not all things are slippery when wet.
Relationships
Share
9 Masturbation Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You
Maybe don't sit on that chair.
Relationships
Share
16 Guys on How Often They Really Masturbate
"Once a day, usually, if I'm single. Actually, even when I'm not single."