How to Have Great Sex With the Same Person Forever

Make sex with your partner more interesting with these expert tips for getting the spark back in your love life

Most Popular

Everyone knows about the seven-year itch. But
what about the 17 (or 27) year itch...? After decades together, it's
easy for sex to become an occasional chore, rather than the exciting,
intimate experience it once was. 

Luckily, you don't need a trunk full of props to get your mojo back. In fact, 'orgasm is easier when we feel secure, which is more likely with our regular partner,' says Harley Street Psychotherapist Diana Parkinson. 'It's all about feeling that familiar comfort along with desire.' 

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Here's how to revamp your sex life. (No feather boas required.)

1. Get out of bed

sex in bed can be cosy, it's no wonder you end up going through the
same old motions. Breaking a habit together means seeing each other
afresh, so surprise him with the offer of a quickie in the kitchen, or
turn your Saturday night on the sofa into something more interesting
than 'pass the Pringles'. 

It can feel
awkward at first, but once you're kissing, you may as well carry on.
'Even getting out of the house can help,' says Alix Fox, sex and
relationships expert for Durex. 'Go for a walk, and find a quiet spot
somewhere to kiss. The small act of going out and coming back refreshed
can help change the mood.'

Most Popular

2. Learn something lovely

Doing something different is usually a solo enterprise, whether it's book group, choir or running. 

doing it together gives you a different perspective on each other's
skills and talents. It's easy to take each other for granted and find
one another predictable when you know each other inside out. 

sign up for a course in pottery, tango or languages (try sexy Italian
or French) and you'll see a different side of each other - which can
easily translate into renewed attraction. 'Once we settle into a
partnership, it shouldn't be the end of our personal development – just
the beginning,' says Diana.

3. Focus on feeling

easy to let worries about your middle-aged spread put you off making
love. But in a long-term partnership, looks may fade, but sensation
doesn't have to. 

'Lots of us have a tendency to get
too hung up on how we look during sex, and forget to be truly mindful of
how we feel, in ourselves and to our partners,' says Alix. Focus on the
feeling of being together, rather than fretting about your flabby

If you feel more comfortable with the lights
off, that's fine. Just holding each other and seeing what happens is
much more likely to lead to great sex than panicking because you can't
squeeze into your best lacy knickers. 

4. Keep quiet

when you haven't seen your partner all day it's tempting to offload
your worries. But a list of money problems, topped off with carping
about how much weight your partners' put on is not going to get you both
in the mood for anything beyond a mild sulk.

comment on flabby bits!' agrees Diana, 'Real sex is happy to accommodate
our bodies in all their hairy, wobbly wonder." And don't criticise your
own body, either, adds Alix: 'Your partner is sure to find an upbeat,
self-respecting attitude more alluring than moans about your thighs.'

5. Make one small change

you're in a rut, your sex life won't change until you do. But you don't
have to move to Canada and train for a marathon. Just one small change
in behaviour can be enough to reboot your lagging libido

It could be as simple as changing your mismatched old underwear for something more stylish, altering your hair colour or losing a couple of pounds

there's one other thing you can do, says Alix:'Durex recently
commissioned a study into the impact that technology is having on
romantic relationships, and 40% of people interviewed had delayed sex
because they were preoccupied by smartphones.' High time to ban it from the boudoir.


What do you think?

8 Signs Your Date Is Totally Into You
Decoding the communication cues that say it all.
I Prefer Masturbating Over Having Sex with My Husband
Sometimes, a girl just wants to finish.
22 Questions to Ask If You Think Your Partner Is Unhappy
At least one of these will help you move beyond "I'm fine."
26 People Reveal the 1 Relationship Secret That Keeps Their Spark Alive
Forget sparks — these tips guarantee ~fireworks~.
10 Things You Should Know Before Dating an Indian Girl
This is so relatable! 😂
19 Things You Can Do With Your Mouth That Will Drive a Man Crazy
Besides giving a blow job. You knew that one already.
Can a Vibrator Ruin Your Sex Life?
One writer's experience with the Rabbit. (And no, she's not talking about a bunny.)
15 Women Reveal How to Make Makeup Sex the Best Sex Ever
Sometimes it's better to give (and receive!) than to withhold.
7 People Reveal the Wildest and Worst Places They've Been Dumped At
Getting dumped while wearing a couple's costume might take the cake.
12 Guys Get Real About Wedding Night Sex
"We had amazing sex and then ordered pizza and ate it naked in bed."