The 8 Emotional Stages of Being Ghosted

"Maybe his phone fell into a puddle and he lost all his contacts!"

1. Calm down, he's probably just busy with his Internet startup company.  He did say their app is supposed to launch Monday (I think?) and it's only been three days since I heard from him. That's a long time in texting, but in the real world, that's probably just him being like, "Whoa! How is it Wednesday? I was so caught up with my new app creation that I forgot about texting this chill girl I like." Yeah, definitely.

2. He's probably texted me over and over again but then he deleted it before hitting send because it's not perfect enough. Aww, that's so hypothetically sweet. I wish I could text him to tell him I don't care if his text response is perfect or not because I like him just the way he is.

3. Crap. What if his phone fell into a puddle and he lost all his contacts? Or it fell and broke, and he didn't keep backups of all his numbers because seriously, why would you? If I lost or dropped my phone, I wouldn't have his number, so it makes sense.

4. Maybe I should just text him again in case he didn't even realize he never replied.  Sometimes I forget about an old text and then get a bunch of new ones, and it pushes the older ones down, and then I forget that I didn't respond. So if I text him now, I'll be back on top. Genius.

5. You know what? Fuck him. If I'm not even worth 15 seconds of his time after I was clearly cuter and cooler and so much smarter than him (seriously that app idea is going to fail in two years, come on), then he's not worth a second more of my time.

6. I should text him and be like, "Haha. You want to ghost me? Well, too bad because I'm ghosting YOU!" but then realizing that doesn't make sense.

7. Sad face because he seemed so nice. Yeah, the app idea was stupid but I'm sure he'd make it work and anyway, I really saw this going somewhere.  Plus, he smelled really good and seemed to really like me. Seriously, what the eff dude?

8. Whatever men suck. Let's get wine. Wine is my boyfriend now.

By Lane Moore

See the full story on Cosmopolitan.com

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