1. When you know they're going to be away, you want to pull a sickie. Seriously, what is the point of even going in to work if they aren't there? Who will I speak to? What will I do? Oh...why bother?
2. Your WhatsApp conversations are epic. The sign of a true Work Wife 4 Life is that the hours you spend together in work are simply not enough. So. Much. Gossip.
3. If anyone read your emails, you'd probably get fired. Partly due to the volume and partly due to the content. But she's worth it, so YOLO.
4. In fact, one form of communication is just not enough. Email, WhatsApp and G-Chat… why use one when you can procrastinate by using all three? That big report that's due can totally wait.
5. She makes the best cup of tea known to man. Friendships - even MARRIAGES - have been made or broken on the basis of bad tea making. You know it's true.
6. She is an awesome pre-date motivational speaker. No-one knows how to prep you for that mid-week Tinder date quite like she does, while you try to curl your hair in your tiny desk mirror.
7. You buy each other pointless little gifts. Whether it's your fave chocolate bar, or a box of Lemsip when you've got a cold, she NAILS it when it comes to small but meaningful gestures.
8. She is funny as f*ck and she always knows how to put a smile on your face. I mean, she should probably have her own stand-up show already. That thing she said about Gavin from HR's tie the other week? FLOORED ME.
9. She is the BEST drinking buddy. No-one knows you like the person you start drinking with from 5.30pm, on an empty stomach. What happens on after-work drinks, stays on after work drinks. If you can actually even remember what happened on after-work drinks, that is.
10. She has always got your back. Whether it's helping you go for that promotion or deal with the office bitch, she's always supportive and never competitive. She's there in your corner with a metaphorical shoulder rub, clean gum shield and bottle of water (Unless you're a boxer and your work wife is your trainer… in which case please feel free to take that metaphor literally).
11. She is your hangover guru. Painkillers? Check. Ready-prepared cover when you're in the loo vomming? Check. Words of much-needed support at this hard time? Definitely. The best work wives will even go and get you a medicinal bacon sandwich at lunch while you rest your tired eyes.
12. Your kitchen chats get you through the day. That awkward moment when another human walks into the loo/kitchen/other and forces you to stop bitching and make pretend small talk... "GO AWAY! Can't you see we are very busy here, Stranger Who We Work With?"
13. She never judges you. Even when your rage is building, the red mist descends and you go on a 500 word bitchy email rant about absolutely nothing, she never holds it against you. She nods, agrees and never speaks of it again.
14. Best of all, she's not just your work wife. She knows you inside out and you know she'll always be there for you, day or night.
By Claire Hodgson
See the full story on Cosmopolitan.co.uk