10 Vagina Things Guys Don't Care About

We don't have one, so we can't really complain.

Most Popular

1. The way you've chosen to arrange your pubic hair. Pubic hair is to your vagina (or penis) the way a lawn is to a house: Most people aren't going to be too bothered by it as long as it looks like someone lives there. It doesn't have to be perfectly manicured. No one wants a spooky, boarded-up vagina that looks like a haunted house, but other than that, it's all good.

2. The way your labia look.  Some vaginas have big lips, small lips, lips that stick out, or lips you can barely see. Just like all of God's creatures, they are all beautiful. You might see your vagina's entrance as a tentacle-monster we'll have to bat away with an oar like a salty fisherman. We just see it as a vagina.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

3. How big (or small) it is.  I'm sure, somewhere out there, extremely deep or extremely shallow vaginas exist. You're probably not a world-record setter. Don't sweat it. If it's impeding your comfort or enjoyment of sex, you may want to see a doctor, but I can assure you that guys don't care about this.

4. What color it is.  It's a vagina. It's whatever color it's supposed to be.

5. Whatever it smells like. Let's get real: your vagina  definitely has a smell, and there is no Yankee Candle called "Excited Ladyparts" for a reason (that reason being that what kind of creepy person fills their apartment with vagina scent?!) But that doesn't mean it smells  bad . Everyone's vagina smells different, and honestly, that smell is usually a turn-on because it means (1) we're close to your vagina and (2) you're turned on. Some have stronger scents than others, but if you practice good hygiene and don't live in a waist-deep bog like a swamp monster, you're fine.

Most Popular

6. If your vagina gets crazy wet or you squirt during sex. This is actually pretty cool and we'd like to think it's happening because of us. Never apologize for it. If anything, be like, "Wow, you make me so wet!" and watch our ego soar to new heights, like Icarus, except without the melting-wings-and-drowning-in-the-ocean part. The only ocean we want to drown in is an ocean of your - you know what? Never mind. Let's just retire this metaphor.

7. If you keep a bottle of lube in your bedside table. Honestly, we might not even notice if you're on the dry side, but if it's uncomfortable for you, grab the lube. Yes, it might feel awkward to bring up, but it's way less awkward than having to get in the car and drive to the hospital together because you have chaffage, and when we get to the doctor, he's like, "You idiots. Didn't you have lube?" And you're like, "Yeah. I did. But I didn't want to use it because I thought it'd be awkward." And then the doctor is like, "As awkward as this conversation we're having right now?" And you're like, "Nah. I guess not." Definitely not as awkward as that. In conclusion: Guys understand that lube is not just for old ladies, it's for every lady.

8.  How long it takes you to come. Unless this is a several-day ordeal and we need to request a week off of work to get your taco poppin' (sorry, I heard that on Twitter) we can handle the 20 minutes and change to make sure you're satisfied. Also, don't think about how long it's taking. Just relax. We're into it.

9. The fact that you have a larger-than-average clitoris. Unless it's bigger than our penis and it's going to make us feel inadequate, don't freak out (note: that's pretty much impossible). If anything, a larger clit makes things way easier for us and way hotter for you.

10. If we need to pick up an extra passenger (your vibrator) on the train to Orgasmtown. Is it ideal for us? No, ideally we'd be a crazy sex god who can make any woman come just by looking at her. Should you miss out on an orgasm because we aren't that? No. Just get in a position like doggy-style and grab your vibe and we'll think, Hey, doggy style! and not worry about what else is going on.

By Frank Kobola

See the full story on Cosmopolitan.com

What do you think?

Relationships
Share
Can a Vibrator Ruin Your Sex Life?
One writer's experience with the Rabbit. (And no, she's not talking about a bunny.)
Relationships
Share
15 Women Reveal How to Make Makeup Sex the Best Sex Ever
Sometimes it's better to give (and receive!) than to withhold.
Relationships
Share
7 People Reveal the Wildest and Worst Places They've Been Dumped At
Getting dumped while wearing a couple's costume might take the cake.
Relationships
Share
12 Guys Get Real About Wedding Night Sex
"We had amazing sex and then ordered pizza and ate it naked in bed."
Relationships
Share
15 Struggles All Women Who Share a Bed With a Man Understand
Why does no one understand no. 8?
Relationships
Share
What to Do If Cowgirl Position Isn't Working for You
Ideal for lazy girls and pillow princesses.
Relationships
Share
The Viral Tinder Couple Went on Their First Date, and Here's How It Went
It ended up pretty much like any other first date.
Relationships
Share
Inside the Secret Sex Lives of Twentysomething Married Women
A Cosmopolitan.com survey shows that half of married women in their 20s wish they had more sex.
Relationships
Share
Should I Hide My Office Romance?
Career coach Liz Bentley talks dating in the workplace.
Relationships
Share
This Couple Literally Got Married Mid-Roller Coaster Ride and the Pictures Are Perfect
"I DOOOOooooo .....!"