12 Things That Go Through Your Head When Your Ex-Boyfriend Becomes A Father

Now his terrible moves are ACTUAL dad dancing.

1. So, err, we are NEVER getting back together.

2. But, more importantly, the ultimate dilemma: to like or not to like? Liking the first dad selfie is the mature and supportive thing to do, right?

3. Eurgh why is EVERYONE liking this? Will my like look phoney? Can a single mouse click look phoney?!

4. Two hundred likes! That's like double a driving test pass! FFS it's not like he was the one to squeeze a tiny human out of his vaj...

5. Not that it isn't a cute picture. I'm not actually anti-joy. WOW, it has his nose.

6. Right, time to go through the ENTIRE album. May as well do this properly. Come on, I'm allowed to be fascinated by the miracle of life.

7. Are these my first moments as a real-life adult? Am I kind of… old?

8. It wasn't that long ago that I looked after him while he vommed up budget pints... And now he's looking after an actual peeing, vomiting CHILD?

9. On that note, perhaps I got out at the right time. Ewwww.

10. But that doesn't mean he's allowed to use any of our imaginary baby names. Obv we were never actually going to name our child Fleek, but the idea was still OUR THING, okay?.

11. Do I get to meet this kid IRL? Me and my ex still write on each other's Facebook walls for EVERY birthday. I demand awwwwww-ing rights.

12. Fuck everything.

See the full story on Cosmopolitan.co.uk

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

What do you think?

Relationships
Share
9 First-Time Sex Secrets Guys Won't Tell You
He 100% tried to Google this beforehand.
Relationships
Share
5 Sex Positions That Will Help You Master The Art of Spanking
Fifty Shades Freed drops soon. You can never be too prepared.
Relationships
Share
11 Things I Learned From Moving in With a Guy for the First Time
Bathroom time is weird, and there's just no way around that.
Relationships
Share
12 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Ever Tried Shower Sex
Not all things are slippery when wet.
Relationships
Share
9 Masturbation Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You
Maybe don't sit on that chair.
Relationships
Share
16 Guys on How Often They Really Masturbate
"Once a day, usually, if I'm single. Actually, even when I'm not single."
GIF
Relationships
Share
8 Ways Your Relationship With Your Partner Changes After Baby
You occasionally feel more like co-workers than a couple.
Relationships
Share
8 Things Guys Think During Anal Sex
There's a lot on his mind.
Relationships
Share
10 Signs You Are Dating the Wrong Person
How to figure out if he's Mr. Right when things just arn't going right
Relationships
Share
Is Painful Sex Normal?
There's a difference between "ouch you're hitting my cervix" and a serious medical problem.