I happen to believe that all shower sex is pretty awkward, but some shower sex really takes the freaking cake. Cosmopolitan.com spoke with 12 women to find out their most awkward shower sex experiences and the results were basically the best.
1. "After conditioning his hair, he turns off the water, gets out, and asks if I want to go eat."
"I had this guy who I'd been pretty good friends with for a while, and one night, while hanging out at his place, we randomly started hooking up. After a few rounds, he asked me if I wanted to get into the shower with him and I was super excited because I had never had shower sex before. So we get in and he starts washing his hair, and then asks if I need to use the shampoo and I was really confused, but I just assumed he was cleaning up before getting down to it. After conditioning his hair, he turns off the water, gets out, and asks if I want to go eat. Needless to say I was shocked, confused, and seriously grumpy about my lack of shower sex." -Elyse, 22
2. "I also ended up banging my head on the shower wall and someone from outside the stall asked if I was OK."
"I was in college and had just got back together with my on-again, off-again hookup and tried to switch things up and asked if he wanted to have shower sex. Sadly, we had to resort to the men's communal shower where some people were coming in and out constantly. I also ended up banging my head on the shower wall and someone from outside the stall asked if I was OK. Plus, we forgot towels and I had to run back to my room dripping wet in a T-shirt. Never again." -Mia, 20
3. "Everything was great, until he threw up."
"I'd paid for a night at a pretty nice hotel with my man since we were both living at home. In the morning, despite being a little hungover, we were excited for some uninterrupted, steamy shower sex, so we hopped in and started getting frisky. Everything was great, until he threw up. I suppose the shower was the best place for a vomit sex sesh!" -Meaghan, 22
4. "All of his ex-girlfriend's shit was still in his shower when we had been dating for two months!"
"My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. About two months into dating, we had shower sex for the first time. Once we got naked and in the shower, there were a ton of girly things in his shower and he said he didn't have a roommate. I of course asked him about it, and he said it was his, and then about five seconds later, he said it was his ex's. All of his ex-girlfriend's shit was still in his shower when we had been dating for two months!!! We still had sex and I made very awkward eye contact with his cat who was in the room the whole time." -Jolene, 23
5. "He surprised me with a vibrator, which I assumed was waterproof."
"The first and only time I had shower sex, it was with a guy I didn't know too well, but he was super hot. We were in his apartment and I was in the shower waiting on him. He surprised me with a vibrator, which I assumed was waterproof. What kind of idiot would ruin an electric vibrator like that? Well, it wasn't waterproof and even worse, it was one you plugged in, like, to an outlet! He tried to turn it on and it shocked the shit out of him and sparked. I was so scared, I immediately shut the water off and profusely apologized, even though it was nowhere near my fault. He was fine but his outlet was fried and the vibrator was ruined. We ended up just making out on his bed." -Hannah, 23
6. "His parents had come home early, and he had to get me out of the shower and out the back door before his parents knew I was there."
"One time in high school, I was over at my boyfriend's house and his parents were gone, so we decided to take a shower together. We were in the middle of sex when someone started calling his name. His parents had come home early, and he had to get me out of the shower and out the back door before his parents knew I was there. They ended up finding out anyway." -Haley, 20
7. "I had to leave the dude naked, alone, in the shower."
"We had just played a girls-only version of Spin the Bottle and we decided to invite one boy. Long story short, my bestie and I went to have a threesome with him in one of the dorm showers. We got in there, started undressing, and then my cell rang. It was my brother who was our ride home, so my bestie and I had to leave the dude naked, alone, in the shower." -Lachrista
8. "He triggered my gag reflex and caused me to throw up on him."
"My boyfriend of eight months and I were in the shower, and I was going down on him. He was getting really into it and I guess he slipped a little, thrusting himself so far into my mouth he triggered my gag reflex and caused me to throw up on him. Awkward." -Alisha, 19
9. "There was a group of people in the cabin at the time who came running to see what had happened."
"I was away for the weekend at a cottage with a big group of friends, one of whom was a guy I had been on-again, off-again seeing for most of the year. My hookup and I decided after an afternoon at the beach we would hop into the shower and 'cool off' from the sun. One thing led to another and we began hooking up under the cold water. As he was entering me from behind I reached up to grab the shower curtain holder for more leverage and I accidentally pulled off the shower curtain holder and fell half out of the bath tub with my guy falling right on top of me. There was a group of people in the cabin at the time who came running to see what had happened (Did I mention we forgot to lock the door?). Needless to say, I have been turned off of shower sex and still have the scars to prove it!" -Lauren, 21
10. "On his way down, he ended up kneeing me right in the vagina super hard!"
"My boyfriend and I had the house alone to ourselves, so we went in the upstairs shower. And while we were turning on the water, he stepped back in the shower and slipped and on his way down, ended up kneeing me right in the vagina super hard! It was just laughs after that." -Yakira
11. "He got mad when I used his conditioner wrong."
"My boyfriend is very type-A and particular with his things, which usually wasn't a problem until we decided to shower together. I tried to be sexy and suggest a different sexual position, but he freaked because it would 'get water on his floor.' Then he got mad when I used his conditioner wrong? I didn't even know that was possible. Needless to say the mood was ruined and it made for a very awkward shower." -Bailey
12. "Our last failed attempt was for him to just pick me up but as soon as he did, my head hit the shower head and we broke it."
"My ex and I came back to my house and decided to shower since we'd been outside all day. We hopped in the shower and it got a little frisky. That's when I decided to bend down and give him oral but I had to squat down far since he's 6-foot-4 and I'm only 5-foot-2, so the water from the shower started pouring on my hair and I thought it was sexy until I started choking and almost bit his member and halfway gagged. So we just decided to do doggy-style, but once again, since he's so tall, he caught a cramp in his thigh from having to bend so much. Our last failed attempt was for him to just pick me up but as soon as he did, my head hit the shower head and we broke it. Finally, we just showered, laughed hysterically, and got out and ate ice cream." -Angela, 25
By Lane Moore
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