Sometimes it's wise to know when to let go.More
Couples whose marriages are over, or nearly over, have usually uncoupled, or disconnected from each other, says Elayne Savage, Ph.D., author of Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple. "If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both of you is spending all your time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage."
Some marriages encounter damaging, seemingly insurmountable problems — such as infidelity, the loss of a close family member, or a long sexual drought — and rebound from them. But, says Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After, if one spouse repeatedly brings up an issue, asks for help, and makes it clear that the marriage will not last unless they both commit to solving it, and the other spouse refuses to go along, the marriage is in trouble. "One partner can't do all the trying on his or her own," says Bowman. "You can't go anywhere like that." A good rule of thumb: If it's been a year with no progress, it may be time to call it quits.