1. Praia Net SwimsuitHave you ever seen a fishing trawler dragging a net through the ocean and thought, "If only a 6-year-old slapped some colorforms on that net, it would make for the perfect bathing suit"? Well have I got news for you, weirdo. Here is that bathing suit.This is the perfect bathing suit if you want guys constantly staring at your left breast, wondering if your areola is going to peek out behind those clouds.I also don't understand why there are cacti. Cacti grow in deserts where there is no water and this is literally a garment meant to be submerged in water. It feels like wearing a ski jacket that says, "I love surfing."
2. Genie Lace-UpWHY IS THIS MADE OF DENIM?Have you ever spontaneously jumped into a body of water with your jeans on and then immediately thought, That wasn't a shitty idea!? The answer is no. You haven't. There is nothing pleasant about soaking wet denim.This swimsuit looks fine; I just can't get over how impractical it appears to be.