10 Silly Things All Happy Couples *Secretly* Do...

...but will never admit it!

Akshita Jolly

If you seriously believe everything a *happy* couple posts on their Instagram (read: PDA, lust-worthy vacay pictures, post couple spa-sesh-glow selfies, and some more PDA) is the reason why their relationship is for keeps, you’ve never really been on that side of the table, have you?

While all these enviable perks of being in a loving, committed relationship sure help in keeping the spark alive, it is actually the little, mundane things that a couple in a long-term relationship share, (on a daily basis, mind you) which fuels the relationship and makes it enter the ‘for the long haul’ territory.

Fun fact: most of them are too gross or TMI for a couple to admit openly. So, brace yourself for some things which may either disgust you, or hit you with a pang of ‘relatable AF’. Like a whirlwind.

1. Giving Cheesy, Mushy, Despicable Nick-names

As much as you laugh and detest those mushy nick-names, which are infamous on the Internet for being the first thing that marks a serious relationship, and make you fake-vomit in public at the mere mention of it — admit it, you do it too. It’s an inevitable part of being in love, and there’s something about calling boo with a name (as funny or gross as it may sound) that nobody else is allowed to use. Endearing, but super hush-hush.

2. Cuddle, But Also, No Cuddle!

You can’t wait to spoon after a hot romp-in-the-sack and cuddle your way to sleep. But, what happens when you’re reeking of sweat on a hot, summer night (or afternoon!) and just can’t handle all the stickiness? You stealthily push or pull away from your S.O., ‘cos breathing space, FTW. Yes, couples do this, but they’ll make sure the world imagines them in a cocoon.

3. Not Bathe For Days...And Still Cuddle 

There are days, when you can beat a sloth at his game, and just lie in bed. And you still wanna drift off to sleep in bae’s arms. And not even BO can stop you from cosying up to them. The couple that’s lazy together, slays together. It’s legit.

4. Sniff Each Other And Give A Heads Up

By now, it’s clear that couples who’ve been dating for long have zero to no boundaries. Which includes sniffing each other and warning the other of any possible foul smell that may be emanating for reasons mentioned in the previous point. Gotcha back, baby!

5. Farting/Burping In Front of Each Other, Proudly So 

All etiquettes go out of the window as your relationship steadily progresses on the timeline. From singing while you’re taking a dump in their loo too avoid any err...sounds, to orchestrating a symphony with your *various* body sounds —you’ve really come a long way. And no, it’s top secret because people judge.

6. Share the Washroom and Have the Most Serious Discussions In There

Yes, after a while, you will be perfectly okay to answer nature’s call while your man is showering. It saves time, plus somehow, the best decisions are taken in there. Also, he cannot escape a “We need to talk” while he’s slathering on shower gel. Just saying.

7. Shower Sex...Not Really 

Speaking of slathering shower gel, happy couples love showering together, but you’re mistaken if you’re thinking it’s always about a hot boning session. Most of the time, it’s wayyy too awkward a position, and you know, things slip. They’re happy scrubbing each other, and enjoying the foamy makeout. Burst that bubble, didn’t we?

8. Make Fun of Others 

You see that couple gazing into each other’s eyes, seemingly oblivious of their surroundings, in their own love-bubble? News flash: they’re probably laughing their *ss off and making jokes on everyone that walked past them. Yes, even you.

9. Archive EVERY Embarrassing Photo/Boomerang/Slo-mo Vid They’ve Taken of Their Partner 

There’s just a whole other feeling of exhilaration in capturing them at their most ugly (not to mention hilarious) moments and saving it for emergencies, for instance, when they need cheering up. But try asking these protective couples to share those sacred photos with you. We dare you.

10. Tag Each Other in Memes ALL DAY, Even When They're Sitting Together 

Or, when they’re apart. But they will never get tired of it, because everything is soo relatable and in case one of them doesn’t revert, they WILL demand an explanation. In fact, even that mushy birthday dedication you saw was probably proof-read by bae before it went public. It’s all an illusion, people.

So, now that you know the inner (and a little disgusting) workings of every committed couple, it only goes to prove that love is not just a bed of roses — it's a comfy, slightly gassy bed, too. 

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