It might look easily achievable in porn, but the piledriver sex position is a lot more challenging than you might think. It includes yoga’s plow position, extensive (read: excessive?) squatting, and a penis possibly bending at an alarming angle, so it’s really an adventure for only the bendiest and bravest among us. Especially if your goal is beating the challenge and not necessarily orgasm. “People doing it in porn scenes have been trained to do it,” says Lelo sexpert Laurie Mintz, PhD, author of Becoming Cliterate. “It's really not a position that focuses on pleasure.” The real “pleasures” of the piledriver are psychological—the fact that you’re trying something kind of kinky, and bonding with your partner over a shared goal. “This is for couples who are looking for an adventurous challenge in the bedroom,” says resident sexologist for Fleshy Suzannah Weiss, author of Eve's Blessing: Uncovering the Lost Pleasure Behind Female Pain. And if you’re the receiver (and you’re able to get comfortable) the angle of penetration can provide excellent G-area stimulation. Ultimately, it’s tricky, but it has its pros—it’s up to you to decide if they’re worth the gymnastics. If all of this sounds like a “sign me up!”, proceed with caution, paying special attention to the receiver’s back and neck. “Don't use anything that puts more of an angle on the neck,” says staff sexologist at Good Vibes, Carol Queen, PhD. “This is about supporting the shoulders at the point they leave the ground.” For that, she recommends a sex wedge—try it below the shoulders. And if something feels uncomfortable, stop. (Always true, but extra true here.) For those of us who are slightly more risk-averse, or you simply have no interest in bending that way, we’ve included plenty of piledriver-adjacent variations in the list of positions below. You, too, can get in on the fun without worrying about bending your neck at a weird angle or breaking your partner’s penis! And we love that for you. Here, a positions guide to doing the piledriver, and how to make it work for you. The Original Piledriver How To Do It: The receiving partner positions themselves into the yoga plow pose, with their legs bent as far back as possible so their back is off the ground. The penetrating partner stands—squatting and straddling the receiving partner’s butt—then carefully slides in. The penetrating partner thrusts up and down. Pros: Achievement unlocked! Cons: It’s hard, but training can help. “If you’re the partner on top, do your squats and wall sits,” suggests sex educator Rebecca Blanton (aka Auntie Vice). “This position requires a lot of thigh and hip strength. For the partner on the bottom, practice the plow position in yoga until you can hold it comfortably for several minutes.” Switch It Up: This position works great anally, too. Make It Hotter: If the “as seen in porn” aspect of the position is what does it for you, try it in front of a mirror. The Chair-Assisted Piledriver How To Do It: Try the piledriver, but with props! “Your partner can sit on the edge of a chair, bed, or couch, and you can scooch up against it on the floor. Put a pillow or blanket underneath you for maximum comfort,” says Weiss. Pros: G-area stimulation—score. Cons: It might be more comfortable for the penetrating partner, but not necessarily for the receiver. If it’s not working for you, tweak it until it does, or try something else. Switch It Up: The giver can try a circling motion with their hips to change up the stimulation. Make It Hotter: Since the giver is sitting down, they’re in an easier spot to use a toy on the receiver. Try an extra-buzzy clitoral vibrator! Missionary Piledriver How To Do It: “You get in the usual piledriver position with your legs draped behind your head, and instead of sitting on your butt—really not a realistic plan for many—your partner gets on top of you like they would in missionary position,” says Weiss. “You can put a pillow or two under your butt so that you don't just fall back into regular missionary.” Pros: This one’s much simpler than the original piledriver. Cons: The possibility of being smushed for the receiver is high. (Womp.) The giver needs to make sure they’re holding themselves up on their elbows or hands. Switch It Up: Try it with a sex wedge! It can do a lot of the hoisting work for you. Make It Hotter: Make it a bit more BDSM-y. The giver can hold down the receiver’s calves or ankles with their hands or go even further with a spreader bar. The Butter Churner How To Do It: The receiver gets into a shoulder stand, lifting their legs and butt into the air and bracing themselves with their elbows with their hands holding up their hips. Their legs are bent in front of the giver. The giver squats above their partner, feet on either side. Pros: The glory of doing the another infamous position: the butter churner. Go, you! Plus deep inner stimulation for vaginas or prostates. Cons: Also super hard! Do what you can, and if it’s no longer fun, switch to something else. Switch It Up: The giver can switch between up-and-down thrusts and more of a circular churning movement. Make It Hotter: If one of you is usually the receiver, break out a strap-on dildo and switch places. The Piledriver Lite How To Do It: “If you’re totally set on trying something similar, set yourself up for missionary position and then put the receiver’s legs over the giver’s shoulders,” says Mintz. Pros: “It feels adventurous, but it doesn’t require acrobatic skills and isn’t likely to result in injury,” says Mintz. In addition to the pleasant lack of injury potential, you’ll still get deep penetration. Cons: Penetration can feel too deep for some. That can largely be mitigated with time and lots of lube, but if it’s still too much, the receiver can use their legs or arms as a buffer between their body and the penetrating partner’s. Switch It Up: If the penetrating partner leans forward, it adds extra pressure/pleasure on the internal parts of the clitoris. Make It Hotter: Press a sex toy against your vulva for all the clit love. The Upside Down Piledriver How To Do It: The receiver gets into downward dog, bum in the air with legs straight and feet on the ground. The giver stands behind to enter. Pros: “Upside-Down piledriver” sounds like it would be even more difficult, but it’s actually easier! Plus, this works anally or vaginally. Cons: If yoga hasn’t been a priority lately, downward dog might be a toughy. For an easier version, the receiver can bend their knees or bend over the edge of a bed for a similar feel. Switch It Up: To ramp it up, add a vibrator or nipple clamps. Make It Hotter: Have the giver lift the receiver’s legs (as in the adjacent illustration) for a foot fetish-friendly acrobatic version. The Crash Position How To Do It: The receiver lies on their back, bringing their knees to their chest or however feels comfortable. The penetrating partner squats, facing away from the receiving partner, straddling them to enter. The movement is up and down. Slower is better! Pros: You still get the same flexible penis/dildo aspect, but it’s way easier on the receiver’s neck. Cons: Again, hard! If it’s not working, keep adjusting until you find something that does. Switch It Up: Try a pillow under the hips for more support. Make It Hotter: The receiver can hold or press a toy between their legs for extra stimulation.
