What's Love Anyway?

Whoever decided love comes in a square box, red-wrapped with romance? From flaming career passion to BFFs being bae, or even a healthy ardour for yourself, these are the mad loves we forget to talk about.

03 August, 2018
What's Love Anyway?

There’s this textbook idea of love that Hallmark has etched on our tender, Romedy Now-addict minds. But there’s about a thousand shades between ‘zero’ and Gone With The Wind that we never seem to revel in—whether it’s the fresh optimism of new-found love, a near-surreal sister-connect, or the glorious comfort of having lived with someone for yonks, without any piece of paper verifying that commitment to the world. We talked to 10 phenomenal women about the great loves of their lives, and their answers were anything but textbook...

Bestie Love

Kalki Koechlin, Actor

“Radhika (Apte) has always been someone with whom I can talk forever—out of the two of us, she’s definitely the chatterbox! She’s one of the most honest, and unabashedly opinionated people I’ve met, in the best way possible. We’re well matched for opinions, and can have all-night arguments on pretty much any subject under the sun! We’re so close, but often fight about something in an incredibly headstrong way, too—she talks back, fights back, and shouts back! She’s so forthright, and I find that both fascinating and inspiring. Even in a professional space, I think her talent is nonpareil. She plays characters that de-stereotype women, and I think that’s exactly what the country needs in its actors. I love how unafraid she is, and I’m really proud of that.”

Radhika Apte, Actor

“Kalki and I have been friends for about eight years now (we met on the sets on a film that never actually released!), and I feel like it was inevitable we would be. We have so much in common— we like a lot of the same things, our POV on life tends to sync up on so many different fronts, and we both treat our friendships and relationships in tremendously similar ways—the biggest difference between us is actually the way we look! The thing about us is, though, that even though we always struggle to find time to meet between our conflicting schedules, whenever we do catch up, we do it at length. One of the things I love about our friendship is how often we find that we’re going through such identical phases in our lives—it makes it even more emotional and interesting. I’m in awe of how she’s never been tempted by the idea of money or fame, and it’s never gotten in the way of her standing her ground.”

Live-in Love

Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, Author

“My boyfriend Kian and I have been living together for a little over five years now (which, according to something I read somewhere, essentially qualifies us as partners in the name of the law as well—hurrah!) The story of us meeting wasn’t wildly cinematic—we met at the odd party here and there, introduced by a mutual friend who recommended we seek each other out when Kian moved to Bombay. But, since he was in Colaba and I was in Bandra (veritable worlds apart), we barely saw each other. Things, oddly enough, took off when I moved to Delhi (which led to our first date actually being a trip to Jaipur!). We decided to give things a shot if we got on. Evidently, we did. In my opinion, we’ve worked because we have this high-functioning hybrid of conversation and giving each other space. We can talk about anything without that crippling fear that your partner is going to leave you—and, of course, the fact that we manage to live together and work from home. If we didn’t have some differing ideas of leisure, we’d go a little crazy. I’m not anti or pro marriage, but I’m definitely an advocate for living together—if you don’t (till you’re married), there could be some pretty unwelcome surprises coming your way. It’s good to have it be your crystal ball.”

Newly-Wed Love

Bipasha Basu, Actor

“Karan and I met on the set of this film we did together, about two years ago. I remember seeing him at the first reading of the script, and, even though we started out as friends, there was an undeniable connection from the get-go. Even when we didn’t know each that well, I found myself being able to tell him what was on my mind, even the kind of stray, inane thoughts which would sire that ‘Caution! Caution!’ feeling that usually makes someone put their guard up like Fort Knox. It turned into love so organically, I didn’t even notice it happening. All I knew was I’d found someone with a heart like mine. When he asked me to marry him, it felt like the rightest thing in the world. There’s a simplicity to him that comes as an almost sublime reprieve from the kind of aggression I’m used to in the world. I have no idea what the future holds, but I think we’ll stay exactly as we are—crazy monkeys that read each other like a book. I can’t imagine a day in my life going by without him in it.”

Puppy Love

Natasha Chopra Kochhar, Head of Fashion and Brand Evolution, Select Citywalk

“My obsession with dogs goes back to when I was a child—I wanted to bring home every stray I saw, wrapped in a blanket! I had many a tussle with my folks, who ardently refused my pleas to fill our home with multiple dogs, and that inherent need to be their saviour stayed with me all my life. Now, with the eight dogs I’ve managed to rescue bouncing around my home (and a ceaseless desire to keep at it), I feel at peace. One of the first things that drew me to my husband was the fact that he felt exactly the same—I didn’t have to convince him to open up his life to rescuing and raising animals. It was already who he was. I’ve always endorsed adopting a stray, especially an animal that has been through some kind of trauma in their life. It’s your chance to help, and you’ll feel no greater feeling. The joy we get from our dogs is incomparable. It’s an unreal, insurmountable love and I can’t have enough of it.”

Self Love

Radhika Vaz, Comedian

“What’s a little frightening is that women have been hard-wired to believe that completion comes from finding the right person. There’s a historical ‘helplessness’ we’ve inherited—a need for financial and physical protection that was passed down for generations. Those exact requirements have become obsolete—we’re now more financially independent than we’ve ever been. The practicality of a quest for ‘stability’ via a man has worn thin, and to replace it, the idea of romance was created (because God forbid, a woman not need a man). I think that brainwashing was definitely why I got married—I got lucky, and I loved him, but I did it because I thought I had to, that it would be what gave me a sense of contentment. I can safely say after 15 odd years of marriage—absolutely not! I feel like seeking completion in someone else is a red alert for a lack of self confidence. That dearth of it would describe me beautifully in my 20s. I was ashamed of everything; my mixed heritage, my body, this cavilling feeling that I didn’t belong. My confidence finally stepped up through my humour—producing and writing my comedy. Being able to laugh at myself allowed me to truly accept and fall in love with myself—to turn my problems with myself into material. It was a catharsis that no-one could have given me but me alone.”

Career Love

Aditi Balbir, Founder and Managing Director, V Resorts

“Entrepreneurship was an inevitable life choice for me. Even when things were great, career-wise, I felt a thirst to leap into a travel-experience business. So, after my investors backtracked, I threw my own funds into this company. Travel has always been my calling—exposure to it since the age of six had given me intrinsic knowledge of hidden treasures across the country. I wanted to introduce people to these experiences right here, instead of having to go abroad for them. For instance, strawberry picking in France could be replaced with apple picking in Ramgarh. And cherry-blossom drenched hills in Narkanda came close to the ones in Sakura, Japan. Doing that is the biggest adrenaline rush in the world. The sacrifices you make, and the passion you feel when you love what you do are no less than a romantic love—consuming and fulfilling, albeit in a different way. It’s a wild love in its own right.”

Married Forever Love

Payal Pratap, Designer

“It’s hard to trace back the exact moment things started with Rajesh (Pratap). We were batchmates at NIFT in 1994, a big group of friends including Manish Arora, Himanshu Dogra, Namrata Joshipura, Rajesh and me. We started spending a lot of time together, in college, in hostel... It’s been a defining aspect to our relationship that we’ve been friends first—and continue to be. We share a telepathy, and a candour I’ve yet to feel with anyone else... he’s my sounding board. Rajesh is quiet, but he has strong opinions. But over the years, we’ve opened ourselves up to both criticism and praise from each other. The one thing I asked myself at the start still holds good today: ‘Can I grow old with this person?’ And the answer is still ‘For better, or for worse’.”

Sister Love

Gauri Karan, Designer

“It’s uncanny— sometimes I’ll be thinking something and Nainika will say it out loud. It’s been this way since we were little girls—we were both terribly shy, and sought refuge in each other’s company. We were too wallflower-esque to make friends in school, and were pretty much attached at the hip. We’ve also always bonded over Broadway like I never have with anyone else—I still remember our first Broadway play together in London—we were both spellbound! It’s now our ‘thing to do together’. In that vein, I’d say I’m not just close to her because we’re sisters— she’s infinitely versatile and talented as a person. But most importantly, she’s the most sincere person I’ve ever met.”

Nainika Karan, Designer

“Gauri’s always been the Yin to my Yang—calmer, more mature, while I essay the role of the impulsive, free spirited one. Now that I’m a mother, we’ve switched roles a bit—I’ve been ‘domesticated’ and she’s always out travelling and partying. My favourite memories of us as kids were being collectively obsessed with clothes, Audrey Hepburn, and the glamorous old Hollywood films and Broadway music we were raised on. We’ve had so many different experiences together that it’s created a bond no-one else can fathom. We’ve gone from travelling on a shoestring budget and sharing a soup for dinner in Paris to staying in its best hotels together. I’d never run out of things to talk about with her—even if we were stranded on a deserted island!”

 

 

 

 

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