3 Tips That'll Make Vanilla Sex SO Much Hotter

My preferred sexual positions can skew towards the ambitiously acrobatic. Should you care to look inside my drawer, you’ll find more accessories than Kylie Jenner’s forearm—handcuffs, electrically- charged fingertip vibes, and black rubber tape, to name a few. The only aspect of sex I’m unfussy about is gender. I actually chronicle my crazy experience in my new book Action: A Book About Sex. So here’s a fact you might not expect from me: some of the hottest encounters I've ever had were regular conventional-as-air vanilla sex.

Yes, here I am, championing the most basic way of going at it. But toys are great, you say! Or, what about that insecure voice in the back of my head that says the way I f*ck is not sexy enough? Well, that voice can borrow my electrical tape for its mouth. When I think of the best sex I’ve ever had, I recall how it felt, in my body and in my brain. I’m picturing how one dude traced my body with his hand sooo slowly or the girl who liked to leave in the middle of parties to go home together, right then. Skipping all the extras makes it easier to be present and focus on how bad I really want my partner. I mean, think of the steamiest sex scenes, like in Blue Is the Warmest Colour or Cruel Intentions.

My boyfriend, J, isn’t into fetishistic sex. For the most part, J is steadfastly vanilla—and he is excellent in bed. Relationships thrive when there’s sexual openness, and that means not purely his willingness to test out my kinky tendencies, but my acknowledgement that his unfussy preferences are worthy of respect too. This agreement will do more for your sex life than any forced boundary-pushing. It also leads you to the kind of gotta-have-you, no-whips-required sex that’s technically vanilla but feels anything but. Here’s why.

WITH A SWIRL

In missionary, hold his shoulders and wrap your legs around his waist. Use that leverage to swing upwards, moving into girl-on-top. The quick change means he’ll be hitting new spots inside you. Once you’re on top, you can get your grind on.

WITH SPRINKLES

Kneel with your feet under your body, and reach forward with your hands in front of you (like in child’s pose, for you yogis). Arch your hips as high as you can as he enters you from behind. The position seems typical, but the direct action with your G-spot is anything but. And bonus: he’ll love the view.

WITH WHIPPED CREAM

Place two pillows under your booty while in missionary. The altered point of entry will make you feel like you’ve invented a whole new kind of action. Take away one of the pillows for a new feel.

By Amy Rose Spiegel

Illustrations by Eirian Chapman

This article was published in August 2016 issue of Cosmopolitan India