Sushant Divgikr: I am proud that my music and my art and my drag have no barriers

Over the years, I have learned to stop overthinking my mistakes and perceived failures. I learn from them, but I no longer allow them to consume me. Today, I am committed to living my truth. But years ago, I had moments of self-doubt and internal conflict. I allowed other people’s opinions to bother me and bog me down, because I was not entirely comfortable with myself. It was only when I understood my potential, and learnt to authentically love and accept myself, that other people’s opinions stopped affecting me. I think we need to give fewer f*cks about what other people think of us, and keep more f*cks for ourselves. If you want to wear something, wear it. If you want to do something, do it. You have to focus on yourself, on what makes you happy...that’s the only route to confidence. 

Growing up, I faced discrimination. I was an unsure teenager. And even after ‘coming out’, I wasn’t always confident. Even in the LGBTQIA+ community, there can be discrimination against ‘types’. And there remains a fair degree of internalised homophobia. Just look at how poorly the trans and gay communities were represented in cinema...they were ridiculed and made fun of. It’s sad that not one actor has apologised for the poor portrayal of marginalised communities in movies.  

If I could go back in time, to moments when I felt sad and alone, I would tell myself not to worry. I would tell myself to not try and appeal to people and their expectations. I’d tell myself to not try and find a place at the table, but to make my own table. And if I have a low moment today, I just put on my ‘big girl’ pants and remind myself of how far I have come. I tell myself, ‘You’ve got this!’  

When it comes to raising a generation that is more confident and comfortable in their skin, the right parenting can make all the difference. I come from a middle-class, God-fearing, Konkani family, and my parents have been rockstars... they have supported me throughout my journey. The truth is that our childhood largely determines how we feel about ourselves...if we are negatively primed at a young age, that shapes our future. When parents tell their children they are not good enough—or say things like, ‘This is what girls should do and this is what boys should do’—they can cause serious emotional damage. This is my plea to parents: raise your children with the kind of support they need to become secure, self-assured adults.
 
There still remains a lot of work that needs to be done for the transgender community. They have been discriminated against for years, and many continue to resort to begging or prostitution because they can’t survive in this world. One change I hope to see soon is in regards to policies. Right now, trans people need to first provide a ‘proof of surgery’ certificate even to have access to certain fundamental rights. And that is just the beginning. For instance, trans people are still fighting for inclusive succession rights—a trans person cannot claim inheritance because the law only protects ‘male’ and ‘female’. And they still need better policies in the spaces of education, health, employment, and housing. We need umbrella antidiscrimination laws in this country. Whether you are male or female, or transgender...it doesn’t matter.

As for people to be better allies to the trans community, they need to understand the difference between sympathy and empathy.

I am proud of being able to represent so many people, and of how far I have come. I am proud that my music and my art and my drag have no barriers. I just hope that I keep making everybody proud. And that I keep staying true to myself as an artist. And, most importantly, I hope that many, many more people from the trans community have the opportunities that I had to fight for.”