Why You Need to Be a Pro at Eye Contact

You know that body language is crucial when communicating—your hand gestures, feet position, and posture all convey specific messages. But what you may not realise is that your eyes say more than all those factors combined. “Eye contact is one of the most important ways we interact with one another,” says anthropologist and author of Love Signals, David Givens. “Our ability to employ our eyes to communicate is in fact an evolutionary instinct.”
In the animal kingdom, eye contact is used for everything from determining who the alpha male in the group is to selecting and wooing a mate. “Since animals’ facial muscles aren’t as advanced as ours are, they rely on eye contact to express their emotions,” explains Givens. And we humans haven’t shed that impulse either. Meaning: you can send a lot of different messages with a simple subliminal gaze if you know how to master the right look. Experts reveal exactly how it’s done.

Show A Guy you’re into him
The Look Gaze directly at him, and smile for a few seconds with your head cocked to one side, then briefly look down and away.
Why it works This is Mother Nature’s best pickup tool. “It’s called the copulatory gaze, and it’s extremely common among primates, particularly baboons,” explains Helen Fisher, PhD, anthropology professor and author of Why We Love: The Nature And Chemistry Of Romantic Love. “A female baboon will repeat this pattern over and over to prompt an attractive male to approach her.” Using this strategy appeals to a guy’s primitive instincts too. “Men are wired to respond to this move, since interpreting signs of sexual attraction was key to reproduction thousands of years ago,” says Fisher. Because you’re looking at him and then averting your gaze, this ‘hard to get’ eye contact subconsciously prompts him to want to pursue you. And cocking your head indicates interest and a subtle submissiveness, letting the guy know he won’t be rejected if he does approach you.

Shut Down A B*tcH
The Look Stare at her forehead, then turn your face away to prevent her from making eye contact.
Why it works “Looking at her forehead, in the middle of it, just above her brows, communicates aloofness and superiority because you’re looking above, not at, her,” says Fisher. This is a common intimidation move among primates like chimpanzees and gorillas. “It’s what’s called the cut-off in biology,” explains Givens. “Chimpanzees use it to express dominance and demonstrate that they have the upper hand over another member of the group.”
And it works the same way for you: by looking away, you’re basically saying ‘I’m over you and this conversation, so step off, lady’. (Okay, we added the step off part, but we’re pretty sure that’s what chimps would say if they could talk.)

Get on the Good Side of Your Boss During a Meeting
The Look If your boss is a woman, gaze directly at her, and hold it (without looking psycho). But if your boss is a man, gaze into his eyes for a good few seconds, then look down for a few seconds before looking at him again.
Why it works By varying your strategy for male and female bosses, you’ll tap in to a distinct evolutionary difference between genders, which will give you a subtle advantage. Here’s what you have to know if your boss is female: “Women evolved to show respect to one another by doing what’s called the anchoring gaze,” explains Fisher. “Women look directly at one another to establish an emotional connection. It’s one reason we are better at picking up on how people are feeling as well as what they’re thinking.”
Of course, you don’t need to creepily stare down your boss—it’s okay to break eye contact naturally during the conversation, like when you need to refer to a document or point to something on your computer screen. Just don’t randomly look down or to the side while she’s talking. “She’ll subconsciously think you’re trying to be evasive,” says Fisher.
Making direct eye contact with a male boss, however, will be interpreted by him as a challenge to his authority. “In primitive terms, men used eye contact to intimidate their enemies, a technique that’s widely used in the animal kingdom, and that impulse is still true today,” says Fisher. “Alternating between making eye contact and looking down strikes the right balance between being attentive and deferential.”

Make Anyone Forgive You ASAP
The Look Drop your eyes, and tilt your head forward.
Why it works In this position, you literally lose face—dropping your gaze and head is a submissive posture, making the other person feel as though you’re acknowledging that you’re in the wrong. This move also prevents the other party from escalating the situation. “Animals don’t attack if they’re shown a sign of deference like this,” says Givens. “It’s been observed in a wide variety of species—everything from primates to reptiles communicate in this way with their eyes.” Try it out next time you make a mistake with your partner or friends. It’ll likely keep them from going on the offensive...and save you from having an unnecessary fight.