Dating isn’t easy IRL and now add to it the numerous dating apps and the 1000s of potential partners out there. It can be overwhelming and confusing, more so if you aren’t used to dating apps or if it’s your first time on any app. But then for many of us, it is the only place to look as our current social circles may not be able to offer enough options. To help you navigate a dating app without much trouble, we spoke to Shalini Singh, founder of andwemet, which offers online matchmaking services, to tell you what not to do. “It’s understandable that there will be some trepidation and fear, but with a little caution, navigating the online dating world is not so difficult,” she says. She lists few things you shouldn’t do if you are looking for love online.
1. Do not spend the whole day browsing profiles. It can get too confusing and you have other work to do as well. “Spend minimum 40 minutes in the morning and 40 in the evening looking through profiles, reading them well. The latter is very important,” says Shalini. She stresses that you have to look beyond physical attributes and get to understand the person better.
2. Do not immediately share your own personal details like your first/ last name or your social media handles. Share them only and when you are comfortable and you are convinced that you would will like to invest in the prospective match,” advises Shalini.
3. Do not feel hurt or disillusioned if you have initiated interest and the person has not responded. “It can mean the following things; either the person is occupied and has overlooked your interest, or he is not interested in your profile for now,” says Shalini. Do not dwell too much on it, there are other people out there waiting to be found.
4. Do not be in a haste to be in a relationship, irrespective of your age. Take your time, do not come under any pressure and expedite the process. Hasty decisions usually lead to regrets later.
5. “Do not judge your prospective match for meeting or engaging with others while they are interacting with you,” says Shalini. You both have the right to meet and interact with other people till you make it official.
6. “The most important factor is to feel good about yourself before you decide to sign up on an online matchmaking service. Avoid signing-in if you are under-confident and insecure, because in such a scenario you are likely to be vulnerable which will not allow you to build a meaningful relationship,” advises Shalini.
7. Lastly, do not assume being in an exclusive relationship just because you are engaging often. Discuss with the person and find out if he is willing to set rules or boundaries. Arrive at a mutual decision.