We all at some point get attracted to that knight in shining armour and are swept off our feet. We believe this is that perfect relationship. At times, we are so determined to believe this is it or to make it work that we over look certain signs. Your relationship may have lost the spark or even worse, may have become unhealthy for your mental state. It’s easy to miss a toxic relationship when you stay in denial. But deciding to break up can also be really bloody difficult sometimes. So how are you meant to know when to break up from a long-term relationship? Here are some of the expert-backed signs that you should look out for if you feel uncertain about your future together.
He doesn’t make you feel good about yourself
“They know how to make you feel like the most unworthy person around,” says Sheela M Bajaj, celebrity numerologist, life coach and author of “The Love Mirage”. She says, often women accept this and try to believe that they aren’t good enough. “Most of us, don’t know we are in a toxic relationship till we read about it, or till someone shows us the mirror.”
You find it difficult to trust him
If has broken your trust enough to make you feel uncomfortable about trusting you then, it’s a clear indication that something isn’t right.
You feel drained by him
Being with your partner should be an energising experience and not draining. If you feel free when you are away from your partner it is a danger sign, emphasises Arfeen Khan, life coach and relationship therapist to Bollywood stars like Hrithik Roshan and Amitabh Bachchan. When you reach a point where you feel toxic in their presence, then all you will notice is what is `'bad`' about them.
You can’t recall the last time you were truly happy
Every relationship has good and bad days. But if the bad days outnumber the good ones then there’s something seriously wrong. If the fighting and being mad at each other are endless—or rather, are the norm then you need to press the panic button. “These relationships lack laughter, they lack joy and fulfilment,” says Sheela.
He isolates you from friends and family
“Many times in toxic relationships, the toxic individual will seek to isolate you in order to gain control over you or feel that they have control over you," says relationship therapist Oddesty K. Langham. If they make you cancel your plans to meet your family and friends with some context or the other and too often, then this is a warning sign.
He never follows up on his promises
He may have made several promises to change or about your future together but he never follows up or acts as if he didn’t particularly say so. These are tell-tale signs that he isn’t invested in you.
He wants to constantly change you
He wouldn’t show any respect for your values and beliefs and would constantly make you feel that you are wrong and need to change. He doesn’t have any consideration for how much a particular thing matters to you, it’s always about him and what makes him happy. You do not have to put up with this. Talk it out and if he ignores it too often, you know what needs to be done.