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18 Reasons Why Raisins Ruin Everything

Every grape made into a raisin is one less grape made into a glass of wine. Let that just sink in for a minute.

1. They pretend to be chocolate chips in cookies and end up being chewy pieces of shit. Legit why isn't this illegal?

2. They're the reason why poor innocent grapes are left out in the sun for ages and end up shrivelled and die. RIP edible, delicious grapes.

3. By far the worst thing about raisins is how many delicious, delicious foods they ruin. Danish pastries. Granola, Apple crumble. Everything they touch, basically.


4. And don't even get us started on people putting them in salads. Are you joking?

5. Every grape made into a raisin is one less grape made into a glass of wine. Let that just sink in for a minute.

6. People who put raisins in a curry are the type of people who walk and text really slowly in the middle of a two person staircase. The worst kind of people.

7. God forbid, if you ever have to eat something with raisins in, they're REALLY hard to pick out. Cheeky little buggers get everywhere, don't they?

separating raisins from cereal

Credits: juliette_dolgikh Instagram

8. They look like sheep poo or little rabbit droppings. Just poo in general.

9. Raisins are super sneaky and disguise themselves as 'plain' in a scone even though it's clearly not a plain scone if it has raisins in it. C'MON PEOPLE.

10. They totally overwhelm every dish they touch and trying to avoid them as you eat is like trying to avoid tourists in Piccadilly Circus.

art on raisins

Credits: doodlydoodledoo Instagram

11. They taste like squidgy balls of puss with way too much artificial sugar added at the last minute. No thank you.

12. They look like wrinkled little toes of doom. DOOM we tell you.

13. And raisins like to put you in awkward situations and make life hard when your mother in law makes cookies or a bread and butter pudding and BAM, raisins.

14. Who knew we could connect to a t-shirt on such an emotional level. Honestly WHO KNEW.

15. People who like them are really smug about them being a dried fruit and really healthy blah blah blah. Sorry to break it to you suckers but they're actually really high in (natural) sugars, SO THERE.

16. Apparently supermarkets still think they're a really great thing to decorate baked goods with. They're not.

17. The idea of dried up fruit is gross in itself. You don't eat dried CHICKEN or bread that's been left in the sun for too long, so why raisins? No thank you.

18. To conclude, raisins are the absolute worst and we dare anyone to tell us differently?

Credit: Cosmopolitan