13 Signs You're Too Emotionally Involved With Your Boss

Because you don't actually owe her your life.

21 March, 2018
13 Signs You're Too Emotionally Involved With Your Boss

1. You bring crazy ideas to the table knowing that she'd approve regardless of how out-of-the-box they are. To be fair, your boss taught you everything you know. Still, it's her job to oversee your ideas and rein them in when necessary. 

2. You constantly feel like you owe her. Sure, she may have bailed you out of a tough time (like jail) and gotten you your job back, but that doesn't mean she should hold it over your head in perpetuity, nor should you let her. 

3. No matter how badly you want to, you just can't quit the job — or her. Repeat: She is ​not​ all you have. There are other options — and other bosses — out there.

4. Coworkers resent you for being the boss's favorite. If you're openly referred to as her "mini-me," chances are you haven't made many other friends in the office. Having strong relationships with your colleagues is just as important as getting in good with your superiors. 

5. She snoops on your personal life. Being chill with your boss knowing all about your relationships, family situation, mental state, and current medications is a sign of a codependency. It's time to step back and put some major (and healthy) distance between you two.

6. She gives unsolicited advice. And the worst part is? You​ take it. Even if she means well, no one should just start throwing out life tips like they're candy and expect you to eat it all up. Consider what she has to say and then make your own decision. 

7. People cheer when you ignore her calls. Picking up her calls during the workweek isn't that big a deal, but on late nights or weekends, hit "silence." Not only will this help you establish independence, but you'll also avoid starting down a slippery slope of being the employee who's always emotionally and physically available.

8. She's said she'll do anything to keep you on her staff. ​There's no way around this one. Threatening to use the dirt she has against you to keep you on staff is not professional. If you feel threatened and trapped into staying where you are, speak to her or an HR rep about it ASAP. 

9. You'll do anything to impress her. Even if she's manipulative, she's the smartest woman you know and her approval means everything to you. That's a red flag. She may be smart and you can a lot learn from her, but that doesn't mean you should bend over backward to win her over.

10. You've shared a bed with your boss. No matter how friendly you two are, there's always a better option than sharing a bed — always.

11. You listen when she gossips about, well, everything. If she wants to share her personal life with you, that's her prerogative. But once she starts gossiping about your coworkers and reveals ​their​ secrets, it's time to walk. That's not a position you want to be in.

12. You believe your boss knows you better than you know yourself. First rule of adulthood: You have to look out for no. 1. Don't let anyone, especially your boss, know you better than yourself.

13. You tell your boss you love her. Even though your relationship is complicated and toxic,​ you love her. And while that's nice and dandy, make sure you're able to separate that loving friendship from your professional, working relationship, and all that comes with it.

Credit: Cosmopolitan
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