Going On a Holiday? Here’s How Not to Fight

This is how you get away—without walking away from your bae. We promise your vacation won’t be a disaster!

16 July, 2018
Going On a Holiday? Here’s How Not to Fight

Finally! We have conclusive proof (with research on our side) that couples who travel together have a better sex life (and relationship)! Just keep these common fight-factors in check...

FIRST, TIME IT RIGHT

A 10-day getaway to Paris with your new boyfriend sounds dreamy, right? Um, maybe! When you spend so much time with someone—especially in a foreign place—a lot of unexpected things can come to surface, including whether you’re really compatible or not. You see, when you just start dating, you may hide certain personality traits or habits—like how he’s really cranky in the morning but you’re a cheerful Disney princess—but those may surface when you’re on vacation. Which is why experts suggest you choose your vacation length based on your vacation time. Before booking tickets, do the math: if you’ve been dating for a couple of months, perhaps a weekend getaway is best. Been together for a year or more? Feel free to consider Paris, Greece, anywhere!

Disaster Management

Yes, a vacation is supposed to be an escape from your stressful, daily life. But things can still get stressful—and it’s smart to prepare for those wrongs. At the risk of sounding like prophets of doom, here are some of the not-so-
nice things that have happened before: one of you gets food poisoning or falls sick, the airline loses your luggage, the hotel room sucks, or your money gets stolen. Anna Ranieri, PhD, a marriage and family therapist, and author of How Can I Help?, says that these situations are conflict magnets. “When you’re under stress, you lash out at the person closest to you, and when you’re on vacation, the fact that your guy’s probably the only person you know for miles creates the perfect environment for these types of arguments.” The trick is to realise that you can’t control everything—and remind yourself that these things happen to every couple at least once. The minute you do
that, you drop the stress. Next, take a break and distance yourself from whatever it was that was stressing you out. Getting a drink or just sitting by a fountain—instead of talking or fighting about what happened—will put things behind you.

AGREE TO DISAGREE

You want to explore the city and catch a Broadway show; he wants to chill at the hotel and play some Poker at the casino. Radhika Goel, 31, a Delhi-based stylist recalls the first holiday she took with her beau. “I had a huge shopping list...and insisted he come along so we could ‘hang out’,” she says. “He hates shopping, but I insisted. Three days of mall-roaming later, he broke down and we had a huge tiff! Now I let him get a beer at a closeby cafe, and join him after I’ve enjoyed a few hours of retail therapy.” In an article on hitchedmag.com, Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman says it’s important to know when to compromise and when to just accept the differences. “A couple’s vacation is not for either one of you, it’s for both of you. No pouting, whining, needling or manipulating allowed. Remember, you are there to relax and reconnect with each other.” Just as you’d do back home, give your partner some space. If he’d rather chill by the pool than admire art, agree to do your own thing and meet for dinner later. Or take turns picking the day’s activities. You choose the musical, he picks the bar. Negotiate
the terms and you’ll learn to accept each others’ interests, and maybe even enjoy them.

CURB SEX-PECTATIONS

What’s a good holiday without great sex, right? True, except that holidays mentally prepare us for the kind of mind-blowing sex that never happens back home. You may have packed your hottest lingerie, and he may be expecting his raunchiest romp, but after a long day of sight-seeing and trying out three new restaurants, one or both of you may not feel as sexy as you’d hoped to. No problem—make mornings sexy instead, when you’ve
got all that energy. Bonus: you’ll be in a good mood all day. 

HAVE THE CASH TALK

Even in the comfort of their own homes, money is one of the major reasons couples bicker. Factor in a huge expense like a vacation, and you’re looking at ripe fight material. “If one of you is dreaming of a three-week cruise and your bank account is more in line with a weekend stay in the next city, get on the same page before you book. Agree on a budget and stick with it,” says Gottsman. Make a combined decision about what you want out of your trip and where you want to spend the money.

GO OFFLINE

Ever been out with someone who spent half their time texting on the phone? Yeah, don’t let that habit ruin your holiday. Relationship experts suggests establishing rules even before that flight takes off. While completely cutting off from e-mail and the Internet for a week may not be possible, you can decide how much technology you want to use on the trip. For instance, you may decide that each of you gets an hour of work e-mail a day, before breakfast and at night. Of course, feel free to waive the ‘no social media’ rule when you’re Instagramming an adorable picture of the two of you lazing on a yacht. That one needs instant recognition!

Comment